Saturday, October 2, 2010

Anything worth sharing???

I have spent the better part of the past 5 years teaching and sharing what i believe God wants the Ladies He has placed in my life to know. For the most part, I have viewed everything that goes on in my life as something to share with other ladies. I have always felt that the things I go through, the struggles I face, and the challenges I find before me are all things that i can share with the Ladies God has placed in my life.

Afterall, we all go through the same sorts of things. Still,most of us feel like we are all alone in our struggle and I have considered it a priviledge to share my thoughts, my heart, and my life so that others know that we are all traveling this road together. Our struggles are not all that different. We are all in a battle...and some are doing better in their battle than others.
We all fall from time to time.
We all get distracted.
We all lose sight of our goal.
We all find ourselves very much in need of forgiveness.
We all have troubled relationships.
We all have people in our family who are hard to love.
We have all been betrayed....and we have all betrayed.
We all are afraid of something.

The difference in me and you and 1,000,000 other people is really just in how we deal with life...with all these things that we face day in and day out.

Over the past....I don't know, maybe a month, I have come to understand that God not only wants me to share my life with whoever attends our Ladies Bible Study and/or stumbles across this little blog, but also wants to grow ME. Just me. Somehow I had forgotten that.

Or maybe it is just easier to minister to others and share Christ with others. Maybe it is easier to ask "what do you want to do through me Lord" than it is to ask "What do you want to do IN me Lord?"....

No question in my is harder for me to ask God what He wants to do in me. I am afraid of what it is that He will want to do if I totally surrender. But I trust Him, right? I trust God. Sure I do. So why am I afraid?

I totally understand that God's ways are not mine. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways,And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Even after everything God has brought me through, it still frightens me when I ask God to "Have your way in me". I mean, for the most part, I like my ways, ya know? I always think of God's word in Isaiah when I ask God to help me grow, remove anything from my life that is keeping me from Him, etc. What if He takes away something I dearly love?

I have learned over the past several months that when God removes something I dearly love from my life, He has an eternal reason for doing so. His ways are not mine and His thoughts are not mine. In times like this, I have to trust Him....even when I cannot see...even when it does not make sense....even when it hurts.....I have to completely trust God.

Now, on the other side of this last battle, I see that God has a plan and a purpose in EVERYthing...not just big things...not just life-threatening things....but everything. He has a plan and a purpose for the little things too. HE can grow me in little things that are part of my day to day life just like He can grow me through the big, once in a life time things.

I have learned that, while God will not put any more on me than I can bear, I can bear more as I mature spiritually. The battles do not get easier. The valley is not less dark. The temptations are not weaker. The refining fire is not cooler. Actually, as I mature spiritually, I am able to withstand hotter fire, darker vallies, fight tougher battles, and face greater temptations....because as i mature spiritually, I lean on God more, know Him more and Seek Him more consistantly.

That's all I have for now. I am resting in the arms of my Father. There is no place I'd rather be.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Under Attack? Caught not paying attention

This week, I have been thinking a lot about "The Battle". I mentioned in the last post that I am not sure that Christians take Satan's attack on us seriously. The Bible refers to him as a prowling lion, looking for someone to devour. I found out 3 interesting things about how lions hunt. Today, the final interesting thing....

Antelopes, while physically fast, are mentally not quite so sprightly and pay perhaps too little attention to learning from their mistakes.

I read about a group of Thomson's gazelles crossing a patch of thick bush in order to drink. When they entered the thick bush, it was bristling with lions that instantly grabbed and ate one of the gazelles. Over the next two hours the same group of gazelles, having apparently forgotten the recent murder of one of their companions, tried not once but twice more to get to the water using the same route…with predictable results.

Oh my goodness! How many times do we walk right into Satan's traps?
Scripture warns us, even commands us what to avoid.....

We have witnessed friends and family, coworkers, and others get caught in the trap.....

Often we have been ensnared in the trap before....

and yet...

We go right back to the same spot where we KNOW Satan is waiting.

What are we thinking? Do we think that sin is a game? Something to tinker around with? Do we or do we not believe that God hates sin? Do we, perhaps, believe that "little" sins don't ensnare? Do we think that the only sins that God really hates are the ones that WE have deemed "terrible"? Scripture says plainly that God hates a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren. (Proverbs 6:16-19).

Scripture tells us to resist the devil, not toy with him.

I do not for one moment believe that a Christian should live in FEAR of Satan. I claim the promise that "He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4) multiple times daily. I also know too many Christians that have fallen to Satan's snare. I know people who, while still very much have the promise of Heaven, are living hell on earth because of sin in their lives.

I do not fear Satan, but I am fully aware that he seeks to destroy me and the people I love. I do not take being under attack lightly. When I sense the enemy of my soul is near, I call on my prayer warriors and together we fight back. I can fight alone, and have, but there is great reassurance in knowing that my sisters and brothers in Christ are on the front lines with me.

It is my prayer that you will no longer absently say "that's Satan attacking", but that you too will sound the alarm, rally the troops, and wage war on the enemy of your soul!

After all, we are in the battle.

Under Attack? Easy Prey

This week, I have been thinking a lot about "The Battle". I mentioned in the last post that I am not sure that Christians take Satan's attack on us seriously. The Bible refers to him as a prowling lion, looking for someone to devour. I found out 3 interesting things about how lions hunt. Today, the second interesting thing....

If an ambush fails and they are forced to chase their prey, lions will separate the sick, the weak, or the young because they are easier to catch and kill.

Satan also separates the young Christian, the weak Christian, and the sick Christian.... from other Christians and the church in general...making them easier to catch and devour. Unlike the African Lion, Satan does not attack the physically ill, weak, or young. Rather, he attacks the spiritually immature, weak, or ill. He knows that, if he can separate them from other Christians, they are easy prey.

Those who have not yet matured in their faith are vulnerable to attack when they are separated from the church body. Just as we would not leave a toddler alone to fend for himself, neither should we expect a new Christian to be able to "raise himself" to maturity.

When we are spiritually weak or sick, either from our own sin or from being hurt by others, we are vulnerable to Satan's attack, no matter how mature we are spiritually. When we allow ourselves to be separated from other Christians and from God's church, we isolate ourselves and are sitting ducks for Satan's attacks. When we isolate ourselves from our church family, we become susceptible to Satan's lies.
I have seen this ugly pattern time and time again. A wounded Christian immediately separates himself from his church family. If not from the entire church family, then from his close Christian friends, the ones who will speak God's truth to him.
They are defenseless, isolated and alone with only their hurt, when Satan moves in for the kill.
Scripture is full of wisdom about choosing godly friends, surrounding ourselves with godly people and seeking godly counsel....and with good reason. There is strength in numbers.

Under Attack? The Ambush

This week, I have been thinking alot about "The Battle". I mentioned in the last post that I am not sure that Christians take Satan's attack on us seriously. The Bible refers to him as a prowling lion, looking for someone to devour. I found out 3 interesting things about how lions hunt.

They’re incredibly good at hiding and phenomenally patient.

Lions are opportunistic hunters, and, after a careful stalk, will take the closest animal regardless of its age, sex or condition.

Satan is also good at hiding, and has the utmost patience. He will lurk in the shadows until the perfect time to strike. He can catch the strongest Christian off guard and wreak havoc on his / her life.

Of course, Satan doesn't lurk behind trees or under the bed. Scripture gives us a warning in Genesis.

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

From the very beginning, Satan has been lying in wait. Patiently looking for the perfect opportunity to attack.

"It's only a movie"

"It's just a book"

"It's only flirting, we aren't doing anything"

"It's just business"

"It's my body"

"It's just one drink"

The list of things we say as we walk headlong into sin is endless, and Satan is waiting, wringing his hands in anticipation as we walk right into his trap.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Under Attack?

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

It's early, but not early enough for me to have enough time to get all my thoughts in print. Last night I asked Calvin if he thought that people REALLY believe in Spiritual Warfare. We talked about it for a moment, but nothing really settled in my heart.

This morning I awoke before the alarm with the same question on my heart.
"Do people REALLY believe in spiritual warfare?"
More to the point, do Christians really believe what 1 Peter 5:8 says?

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

To prowl is to move about in a predatory hunt.

Devour is a graphic word! It means to destroy completely. Completely:to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent.

Satan is not just milling around hoping to stumble across someone that he can ruff up a bit. He is on the hunt, and he is hunting for someone to completely destroy.

And yet, we are surprised when we are attacked.

Even more disturbing to me at this moment is the casualness in which Christians will say "I am being attacked"....perhaps they do not realize that Satan's goal is NOT to cause them discomfort, but to completely destroy them?

I have to sign off and get the kids up and ready for school and myself ready for work, but before I do...

I noticed something for the very first time this morning....look back at 1Peter 5:8. What does the first of that verse say?

Be self-controlled and alert.

I believe that herein lies the battle. If we TRULY believed that Satan was hunting for someone to destroy, saying "I am under attack" would sound more like "HELP! SATAN IS DESTROYING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET HIM OFF ME!!!! CAST HIM OUT!!!!!" If we truly believed that Satan was hunting for someone to destroy, we would not let our guard down and allow gossip, slander, lust, envy, hatred, unforgiveness, greed, jealously, and such to enter our lives. In fact, we would hate these things. We would love Self Control. We would be alert to any change in our environment that would indicate that the predator of our souls is near.

Instead, we casually say "I'm under attack" and go one about business as usual, allowing Satan to devour us at his leisure.

okay, i REALLY have to go to work,...

More on this later...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Trust You'll Treat Her Well

Dear World:

I bequeath to you today one little girl ... in a crispy dress ... with two brown eyes ... and a happy laugh that ripples all day long ... and a flash of brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.
I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning ... and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Good Bye"... and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she'll learn to stand in line ... and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears to the sounds of school-bells ... and deadlines ... and she'll learn to giggle ... and gossip ... and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she'll learn to be jealous. And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in a sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn to kiss lilac blossoms in the morning dew. No, now she'll worry about important things. Like grades ... and which dress to wear ... and who's best friend is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls. And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers ... which is only right. But, no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time ... she'll learn what it means to be a member of a group. With all it's privileges. And it's disadvantages too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud. Or kiss dogs. Or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms. Or even watch ants scurry across cracks in the summer sidewalk.

Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to become a woman.

So, World, I bequeath to you today one little girl ... in a crispy dress ... with two brown eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long ... and a flash of brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.
I trust you'll treat her well.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

God, What do YOU want to do in this situation?

Our Ladies Bible Study lesson last night was on Looking for Christ in all things. The majority of the lesson was on listening to God. (you can see the whole lesson by following the link to the For Ladies Only blog)

Of everything that was discussed, 2 sentences stood out to me:
“When we find ourselves confused, frustrated, or overwhelmed by situations around us, the best question we can ask is ‘Father, what do You want to do in this situation?’ Asking that question immediately shifts your focus off the problem and onto the One who has all the answers and provision in His hand.” (Charles F Stanley, Practicing Spiritual Disciplines)

I have played these words over and over in my head for almost 2 weeks now. I have replayed situations and circumstances where I desperately wanted God to tell me what He wanted me to do and...ah ha! Did you see it? Did you catch the problem?

I wanted God to tell me what He wanted me to do.

As I keep replaying events and choices and circumstances and other stuff in my head, I see over and over again that everything worked out about the same time that I gave up. (I have to laugh at that) In giving up, I essentially said, “Okay God, what do You want to do here?”

I think that many times God doesn’t want ME to do anything but step back and trust HIM to work things out. I wonder how much more quickly problems in my life will be resolved if I start asking God “What do You want to do in this situation?” instead of asking Him what He wants me to do.

One thing I do know for sure. When I take the focus of myself and what I need to do in a situation and put the focus on GOD and what HE wants to do THROUGH a situation, everything in me changes. God always heals my heart and calms my fears and soothes my nerves when I shift my focus to Him.


Saturday, July 10, 2010

Blissfully Bored

So the preacher/husband thinks I have lost my mind. I have been on the computer all day...well...most of it anyway. I've gotten laundry done and gotten some other things done, but I've also been on the computer...a lot.
I FINALLY figured out how to use a TEMPLATE off the web and not just a BACKGROUND! Now, I can stay online for hours looking at you can imagine how long i can scroll through templates...I've been looking at templates all day! I was initially searching for a Christian themed background, because I couldn't figure out how to make the templates work. About an hour ago, I found a sight with instructions on how to use templates and "WOO HOO!" a whole new aspect of the blogger world has opened up for me!
This is almost as good as discovering a wonderfully amazing new flavor of ice cream! Ok, maybe not that great....but I'm pretty excited.
I'm still going to look for "the perfect template". I would LOVE to find something that is representative of "The Battle" and just keep it. As it is now, I change the look of the blog whenever the mood hits me.
As you can see, things have been pretty quiet around here today. The previous few weeks have been full of terrific learning experiences and I have no complaints about today being borderline boring. As with most learning experiences, they were not so terrific at the time, so having nothing more to think about today than blog templates has been wonderful.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Jesus Painting Video- Splat experience

This is one of my favorites.

I saw another painting done at Casting Crowns' Alter and the Door concert. I found that video and will post it at a later date.

I think this is just amazing.

Hope you enjoy it too!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

One of those days

Ever had one of "those" days?

I seem to have lots of them. I keep telling the people in my life "just do what I tell you to do and everything will be great". So far, no one is listening....

Isn't that the way life goes? We all think we know what is best...even my 5 year old thinks she knows what is best for dinner and when is the best time for her to go to bed.

I have found that when I have one of "those" days, the main cause for my angst is my belief that I know what's best. Sadly, I must confess that most often my angst is caused because I think I know what's best better than God does. After all, I'm the one living my life, right? I'm the one living in my house with my husband and kids. I'm the one working with my co-workers and I'm the one being friends with my friends. I know what's best for me......right?

Actually, often what I think is best for me makes about as much sense as my 5 year old "knowing" that ice cream topped with chocolate chips makes a great dinner.

Bottom line is, God knows what's best for me. His instruction on how to treat people is best. His instruction on how to grow in my relationship with Him is best. His instruction on how to react to adversity, hurt feelings, being treated unfairly, and all sorts of other painful parts of best.

God's way is best:
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Greater love has no man that this: that he would lay down his life for his friend
Have no other gods before God
Don't covet
Don't bear false witness (don't tear someone down and ruin their reputation)
Wives, submit to your husbands
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church
Put on the FULL armor of God
Control your tongue

These things don't all mesh well with our society. Many of the things that God says are best for me don't come naturally for me. Often I find myself having one of "those" days before I realize what is REALLY wrong.

Today, like most of "those" days, I didn't follow God's plan. I didn't do what HE says is best for me. I allowed Satan to slip in and ruin my day by entertaining and nurturing feelings of hurt, anger, frustration, selfishness, and pride in my heart. None of those are from God, so it's no wonder my day was a bust.

THANKFULLY God used a friend to speak to my heart...even though she had no idea that was what she was doing. She said " I know what you'll do. You'll write an epistle, then delete it. You'll get in your car this afternoon and turn on your praise music and once you are alone you'll pray about everything that happened today and by the time you get home you'll have let the day go and it will be as if nothing ever happened. Tomorrow you'll hardly remember why you were upset in the first place." Now, my friend did not intend for me to take her speech as advice on what to do. She meant it to be proof of my inability to stand up for myself. Instead, she reminded me of the way I know that God wants me to combat "those" days.

I'm glad she reminded me, and I'm glad I respond that way often enough for her to say "i know just what you'll do".

I did. I got in my car, turned on my praise music, prayed about my day, and decided that it's best to let God stand up for me....and the rest of my day has worked out just fine.

It always does when I do things His way.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

2 blogs??? Oh MY!

Things have been busy this summer and only promise to get even busier! What happened to the Lazy days of summer? Everyone I know is rushing here and there, trying to cram as much into these 100+ degree days as possible!

I have offered to give Christa a well deserved break from the Ladies Ministry least for the summer. She has done an amazing job of keeping it going for many months now and carried that responsibility on her own for too long.

So, until I figure out how to keep up with 2 blogs and actually post something different on the 2, please check out the For Ladies Only Ministry Blog. The link is located in the right hand corner of my side bar thing a ma jig on this blog. Maybe I can figure out how to link the 2....or not. I am writing on the Ladies Ministry blog every day right now, in hopes of switching gears and getting in the habit of posting on more generalized issues, concerns, and such rather than using the more personal approach that I use here. Eventually I will just write on Ladies Ministry Blog once or twice a week and get contributors to fill the other days....I think...but that could change too! ha ha ha Maybe some of you could lend your keyboard to the Ladies every now and then?

I know that some of you, like red head riter, manage to write on several blogs daily.....I THOUGHT I had an over abundance of words to use each day, but evidently not near as many as you do! ha! So again, until I get the hang of keeping 2 blogs going, please visit with me on both.

Hope you each have a wonderful day and experience the presence of our Lord and Savior in a very real way!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

WOW! What a week!
We had our last night of VBS at Pearson tonight! It was FUN FUN FUN....but I am tired and will be glad to come home right after work tomorrow.
I am so thankful to have been able to lead music again this year. I enjoy getting to meet all the kids that are in VBS. I love getting to cut up and goof off with them.
Here are some pics.....

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Spiritual Growth

How about this for a whack in the head???Sure got my attention!
3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:3-11 NIV
So I'm thinking...
No matter how naturally intellegent or "smart" a person is, they can study and make better grades. The harder a person studies, the more they learn.
No matter how much natural athletic ability a person has, practice and training make better. "Practice beats talent if talent doesn't practice".
The same is true in music.
And Negotiations in the business world.
The people who are driven to excell usually do.
And those that are satisfied to just get by usually do.
I hate it when I have to be honest, but here goes.....
I have not been DRIVEN to EXCELL spiritually. (UGH!) I have been satisfied to "just get by". I pray. I go to Sunday School, lead Preschool worship, Lead Ladies Bible Study, worship on Wednesdays even....and I read over my lessons for preschool worship and for ladies Bible study....and that's about it. Oh! I also listen to Christian music.
Really? That's it? There is no "practice" aka...digging deep into scripture- driven to know more of God. It sure hurts to look at my spiritual life so honestly.
Thankfully, one of my spiritual gifts is Faith. That helps aLOT...kinda like being a natural at hitting a baseball. my FAITH gets me through a LOT of cancer for example. HOWEVER.....just like a batter with great talent cannot reach his/her full potential without dedication and determination and lots of practice, I am not going to reach my full potential without dedication and determination and lots of digging into God's word.
The scripture said Make every effort.
Every effort.....
every effort....
oh man! I am SOOOOOO falling short! Actually, my effort is not even worth acknowledging. Really, all I do is go to church. Not that going to church is a bad thing, but just going to church is like just going to school and never taking home a school book or a notebook to study for a test and HOPING that I'll remember every thing the teacher said in class. Wow. No wonder I am still a baby Christian. It is time to grow.
Father God,
Forgive me. Your word says that you have given me everything I need for godliness. Godliness is what I want to be exemplified in my life. Forgive me for falling short. Forgive me for not making every effort to increase my knowledge of you. Oh Lord! I do love you and I do want to know you more. Create in me a hunger and a thirst for your word and help me to add to my faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. Your word says that you have already given me everything I need for a life of godliness. I'm not even close. Help me Lord to be driven and dedicated and EAGER to know more and more and more of YOU!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sunday Morning Prayer

Father God,
Another week is gone. Did I make the most of it? Thinking back over all the opportunities to share your love and all the temptations that reared their ugly heads....did i make the right choices? Sometimes I did....and sometimes I didn't. Forgive me, Lord for falling short.
Meet with me today Lord. Speak to me in Sunday School. Let me feel your presence in worship.
Most of all, Lord I want to enter next week with YOU as my focus. Create in my heart a hunger and thrist for YOU and your word that override any distractions. I want to feel Your presence in my life Lord. I know that you are with me always. Help me grow Lord. Help me live a consistant life that radiates Your love and Your ways. Help me get off the emotional roller coaster and live a life that is solid and steadfast because everything is built from Your foundation.
Lord, you are so good to me. You have blessed me beyond belief. I want my life to be a reflection of you and your love so that others will want to know you.
Thank you for saving me and thank you for allowing me to serve you!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Christian T-Shirts

Last night, my family took me to my fave restaurant for dinner. We were all in a good mood, cutting up and joking around and not paying much attention to the people around us....until our food got to the table. Once everyone started eating, I was made all too aware of the conversation in the booth behind us. I missed the first part of the conversation, but from what I could gather, the girl talking was telling her parents how she told someone “exactly how it was”. My 11 year old’s eyes were as big as dinner plates as this girl continued to rant....using “colorful” adjectives to punctuate her story.

I whispered to Brian “Remember, people who are not Christians do not live by the same standards you do. We can’t expect people who don’t know Jesus to understand how ugly that sounds.” He was satisfied with that. He shook his head and went on about his meal.

To my astonishment, when the group from the table walked past us to leave, the parents had on t-shirts with (presumably) their Church’s logo and mission statement on them and the daughter (the one with a mouth that would make a sailor blush) had on a t-shirt with the same church information but the back said “Praise team”. HUGE yellow letters on a blue t-shirt....couldn’t be missed! Was this person leading worship in her church?? If so, what must the people she is with everyday think being a “Christian” is all about?

My 11 year old looked at me as if to say “what ya gonna say now?”

In all honestly, what COULD I say? My argument that Christians don’t talk like that is out the window. Instead, We had to spend the ride home trying to explain to an 11 year old that some folks “just don’t get it”. It’s sad, because they are only selling themselves short and missing the blessing of a life overflowing with the love of Christ.
My sweet Brian summed it up for me.....

“I guess that is like Dad wearing a Mississippi State t-shirt.”

And he is exactly right. See, Calvin is a die hard Ole Miss fan, and Ole Miss and Mississippi State are state rivals. So, Calvin could WEAR a Mississippi State shirt, even go to the ball games and sit with the State fans, but eventually someone would catch him supporting the wrong team.

So I am now asking myself..."Do my words, my actions, and my attitudes agree with my t-shirt?"

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

12 most annoying Facebook Personalities

It's been a long day. I needed something light and pointless to entertain me.
This is what I found. A few of these made me laugh out loud!

The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers
By Brandon Griggs

(CNN) -- Facebook, for better or worse, is like being at a big party with all your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers.
Facebook can be a great tool, and an occasional annoyance. What kind of Facebooker are you?
There are lots of fun, interesting people you're happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This article is about those people.
Sure, Facebook can be a great tool for keeping up with folks who are important to you. Take the status update, the 160-character message that users post in response to the question, "What's on your mind?" An artful, witty or newsy status update is a pleasure -- a real-time, tiny window into a friend's life.
But far more posts read like navel-gazing diary entries, or worse, spam. A recent study categorized 40 percent of Twitter tweets as "pointless babble," and it wouldn't be surprising if updates on Facebook, still a fast-growing social network, break down in a similar way. Take a CNN quiz: What kind of Facebooker are you? »
Combine dull status updates with shameless self-promoters, "friend-padders" and that friend of a friend who sends you quizzes every day, and Facebook becomes a daily reminder of why some people can get on your nerves. Watch as Facebookers reveal bugbears »
Here are 12 of the most annoying types of Facebook users:

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. "I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.

The Self-Promoter. OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just showing off.

The Town Crier. "Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

The TMIer. "Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

The Sympathy-Baiter."Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.

The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

The Obscurist. "If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.

The Chronic Inviter. "Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you?"
You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.


Saturday, May 1, 2010

God Sized

I have been waiting for God to tell me what to do. I imagine He shook His Holy head and said "Kris, Kris, many times do we have to go through this?"

A few things happened this week that solidified my writing.... Writing, on this blog, in e-mails, for the FLO Blog and Bible Study, and, as of...well...I guess now, a book. Over the past month or so I have lamented over wanting to do BIG things for God. I have been reminded that I need to focus on doing GOD sized things rather than what I consider to be "big" things. Now, the things that solidified this...

First of all, my voice is still sooo weak. I can't sing and I can't really talk for long periods of time. I need to do SOMETHING to use up all these extra words I am alloted each day. My only real outlet is to write. Writing here allows me to share my heart and my thoughts about what God is doing in my life. I have always had the attitude of "I can NOT be the only one who feels this way / is going through this" and I feel like this is a way for me to share God with,

Secondly, I am totally thrilled to DEATH that I have had over 600 visitors to this blog 2 months in a row now! I am even MORE excited that some of you have left comments. Than you SO much for your kind words and encouragement!

I had a completely random thing happen too. My best friend from JUNIOR HIGH (remember, I am pushing 40) introduced me to a chick that wants to write a Bible Study. After a couple of e-mails, we decided that we might collaborate on something. Her excitement and determination helped me see how cautious I have been about all this. It's not like anyone is waiting on a book from me....except maybe my mama. I don't have a deadline to meet or have any expectations to live up to. All I need to do is start writing and see what happens.

Then, I sent 2 friends my thoughts on the concept for a book. They both said "YES!" In short, I am so tired of beating my head against the wall when it comes to women in spiritual bondage to their past, it is time I delclared war on Satan. I guess this is how I am going to do it.  

So, FINALLY, as I am discussing the "book" with a friend, she gave me a WONDERFUL example of exactly the battle that we face when we are faced with things that REALLY stink, but cannot be changed. Afterall, there are things in life that just are what they are. You can't change them and you can't make them right because they are just terrible. So, ya gotta figure out how to live with what ever these things are. In my friends case, it is a loved one having terminal cancer. There is just nothing good about that.....unless we let God make something good of it. 

So, thank you CUP BEARER, I am excited about being a little hinge on whatever size door GOD wants to put me on! 

I'm just gonna do my little writing on my little blog and be thankful that God is in control.

Hugs all around!

Monday, April 26, 2010

me and jonah

I sent Christa a post today for the FLO blog. You can click on the link to the right of this page and go there. She does a FABULOUS job on that blog!  Anyway, I sent her a post today. i do from time to time.

Seems that I have discovered what my "slump" is all about. I am hangin out in the belly of a whale. Not literally of course. I just can't get past this.I know I posted yesterday about giving God my "Firsts" instead of my left-overs.

In the post I sent Christa for the FLO blog, I also refered to giving God what he desires rather than "what I can". 

But isn't that what I do? I do what I can. When I can. It is hard for me to let go and let God do big things in my least it is hard to do when i can handle life on my own.

Isn't that always the case? When I call on God, let go and give Him control is when I realize that things are bigger than I can deal when I had cancer, or when the doc thought Calvin had a heart problem, or when my sister ran away from home, or when my brother had a severe neck injury playing football, or when a tree fell on my step dad's back, or when my mom smashed the bones in her ankle all to pieces, or when the doctor told me I was probably going to lose my first child in the 13th week of pregnancy (he is 11 yrs old now), or get the picture. I am like everyone else I guess. It is easy for me to run into my Father's arms when things get tough. When i can't fix it, I run to God and say "okay, I give up. You take it from here"

How much richer would my life be if I ran to God in the GOOD times and said, "okay, YOU can do a better job here than I can. You take it from here."

I'm trying. Really I am.  Really. I get up in the morning and say, "Okay God. No more Hangin out with Jonah. You wnat me to write, I'll write. Just give me the words. You want me to teach, I'll teach. Just give me the lesson. You wnat me to talk to women, I'll talk. Just tell me what to say.You want me to love Calvin and nurture him and be his help mate, I will. Just tell me what he needs. Want me to raise godlly kids, You got it. Just tell me what to do." But today, like so many days, it is now time for bed and I am wondering "how'd I do God?" Nothing amazing happened. Nothing earth shattering or life changing happened today. Did I miss it?

Here's the thing.....I want...I REALLY want to do BIG things for God. I want to do GOD-SIZED things. I do. I really really do. But I am a chicken. I am afraid of failing and the things I feel in my heart that God is wanting to do through me are things I cannot do.

So in lies the problem. And again i am in the belly of the whale with Jonah. Or maybe I am in the boat on the way to Tarshish. Either way, I am struggling.

I feel like i am standing on the high dive. I know all i have to do is jump and everything will be fine. It's the jumping part that is the problem.

So, for now i am fighting myself. I WANT to do BIG things....but I'm just me andI know me...and I'm not all that great.

I DO serve a GREAT BIG HUGE AMAZING GOD and I want so much to bring Him glory with my life.

So I guess the question is do I trust Him?

Oh Lord! I do believe! Help my unbelief!


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Going Through The Motions

In Sunday School this morning, Dave taught from Malachi....the thing in the lesson that caught my attention and stuck with me was a conversation about how the Isrealites were "Going through the motions" so to speak. The were going to the temple, they were making sacrifices, they were making vows....but it was all being done half heartedly. They were not giving their best to the Lord. They were just giving something.

Would be nice if this were an isolated incident.....

The same issue is addressed in Revelation...The church at Ephesus was guilty of Going through the motions as well.....
Revelation 2
I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. 4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.

I wish that this was something that was only an issue or the folks of Bible times. Unfortunately, I too am guilty of just Going Through The Motions.....Going to Church because it is Sunday or Wednesday, even going through an entire service without opening my heart to my what I "can afford" for a tithe ( when i still go out to eat with friends)....spending what time I "can afford" in prayer and quiet time with my savior ( while making sure not to miss my favorite TV shows).

UGH! Is it any wonder that I falter in my walk with Christ???? When I am only giving Him my it surprising that my relationship with my Savior is strained? I am ashamed to admit that I have, like the Ephesians, lost my FIRST LOVE, and have substituted the love of My Life with cheap imitations.....

Scripture does give a remedy for the ailment of the Christian Soul.....Found in Revelation 2
5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.

Oh Father God! I am so sorry for giving you my leftovers. i am sorry that I have been Going Through The Motions. I am sorry that I have replaced my love for YOU with cheap imitations. Oh Lord, put the fire back in my heart. Fill me with your love again so that all I want is more and more of you. I will do my part and give you the FIRSTS....of my time, my money, and my talents and gifts. I will serve you whole heartedly. Lord, fill me up again so that I can show others Your Love. Lord, you have my heart and my life. Please grow me so that those you have put in my life can see YOU in me.

Not gonna just Go Through the Motions anymore!
Goin to church time for spell check, so just forgive the errors.....


Friday, April 23, 2010

Do I trust God?

I say that I trust God. I do believe that I trust God. One of my Spiritual Gifts is Faith and I do see that evident in my life. I do believe that God has a plan and a purpose for me and for everyone else and I do understand that it is okay if I do not understand what His plan is for me and it is even okay if I don't like His plan. He is God and He knows better than I do, knows more than I do, and He alone sees the big picture.


It is so much easier for me to trust God with BIG things than it is with little things.It is natural for me to run to God with monumental situations.....yet I hang on and grit my teeth and struggle through the every day "little" battles on my own.


I ran to God, searched His Word for guidance and prayed diligently for His will and for understanding of His will when.....
I had cancer
I thought I had a miscarriage when I was pregnant with Brian
My sister ran away from home as a teenager
The doctors thought something was wrong with Calvin's heart
Chrsta's neice was born with a heart defect
Christa's neice went to heaven
Calvin's dad lost his fight with cancer
I made a carreer change
We bought a house
We decided to have a second child

And while I do seek God every day, I am ashamed to say that my daily interaction with my Lord is not the same searching, yearning, and passionate desire for His will that I experience when i am facing a huge battle.
So, this morning I wonder what my life would be like If I passionatey saught HIS will and HIS ways in the "little" Battles.....

What if I took God's hand each morning, searched His word, and  asked Him to help me.....
Care for my husband, be Calvin's helpmate, without the need for his approval and praise
Nurture and care for my children and prepare them for adulthood
Care for and manage my home and family so that our home is a safehaven, a peaceful place for them to rest and retreat from the demands of the world.
Work with effeciency and puncuality at the bank so that those that work with me have less load to bear
Be pleasant, positive, and gracious in all things so that anyone around me will see a glimpse of the love of my Savior.

I'll stop there. I cannot help but come back to this from time to time because I am realizing more and more that the seemingly SMALL things are where I am losing the Battle. Satan does not stand much of a chance when i am facing a huge battle, but when the BIG battle is over, I take off my battle gear and....well, i am an open target.

Scripture DOES speak to such things......

Colossians 3:22-24
22Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Philippians 4:6-7
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Now, I know that we aren't slaves, but I do have a boss at work and Colossians definately applies to work as we know it. Work as though working for the Lord.

And in Philippians..... Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING........not just the big things......because, at least in my life, the Devil's in the little details.


Thursday, April 22, 2010

You Are - Tenth Ave. North

To God be the Glory!

The following is a message sent to me from my friend Bobby. We went to highschool together and were thrilled to find out that we have both accepted Christ as Lord of our lives as adults. He and his sweet wife Lorisa just went through a terrible custody battle that I will not go into here....hope his words encourage and challenge you.

You know - its weird this thing with my court case and the life-changing impact it has had on me.

It would be so easy, as it often is, to just say that it was a people thing and not a God thing. When things are bad we so quickly rush to HIM like we need HIM - then when it goes bad - we blame HIM like HE is some genie waiting to grant wishes - but then when it goes good - we want to take the credit for it.

Not this time. I really saw so many people come together to pray over my family and lift me up. There is no way I would give glory to anyone other than our great GOD!!!!

I walked into that court house so confident that I really was in HIS hands, and I wasn't thrilled to be there - I wasn't thrilled with some of the concessions I made - but my decisions were all made with my kids best interest and I had finally let go if the hatred and anger - I really did forgive and let go of what Satan had bound me to - and it was a GREAT feeling!!!!

Pray, Forgive, Love, Laugh

It is so true that many are quick to blame God when things do not go according to our plans. It is also true that we are often quick to take credit for the times that God pulls it all together and makes something amazing happen.

Couldn't help but note Bobby's comment about forgiveness too......and his understanding that SATAN had him bound.........there's another post there,.....just need to sort my thoughts on it.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Temple

One of the things I planned to do on my "vacation" this week was go to the gym. My plan was to go ahead and get over the soreness that comes with the first few workouts. I do want to care for the body God gave me and I want all my muscles to work properly. I want to be strong and healthy.

Afterall, the body is the Temple of the Lord, right? 

In the book of Haggai, the minor prophet tells God's people that the time has come to finish the temple. 

God's people started to rebuild the Temple of the Lord, but lost interest.......

Then the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: 4 "Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?"

So my first thought is..."How often have I done this?" If The Temple of the Lord is now my body rather than a building....then how often have I built up ther things while the Lord's house remains a ruin?

5 Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. 6 You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it."

Again, I see myself in these words. I have worked HARD for things that delivered little in the end. I have tried so many different things to find contentment and satisfaction, only to be left empty feeling. I do understand the feeling of "never enough". I want bigger, better, more exciting, more, more, more....but it is never enough.....or at least that is the way i WAS. I discovered the cure for this spiritual ailment. It is indeed a spiritual issue, ya know. I FINALLY realized that there is so much more to being a Christian than simple professing to be one. There is more to the Christian life than the promise of Heaven. There is a lifetime here to live for Christ and to tell others about Him.

7 This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. 8 Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored," says the LORD. 9 "You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. 10 Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. 11 I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands."

So, what happens when I live for me? I come up empty. i am left unfulfilled. I am not satisfied. i want more. I am antsy and irritable and uneasy. Everything in me knows that something is wrong when I am living for me.

12 Then Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the whole remnant of the people obeyed the voice of the LORD their God and the message of the prophet Haggai, because the LORD their God had sent him. And the people feared the LORD.

Like the people on the Old Testament, when I accept that God's word is TRUE, I "fear" Him. Not fear like I fear a stranger in the Wal Mart Parking lot. Perhaps the same sort of "fear" that I have for a doctor. I trust that my Lord knows what is best for me and if i want to get well spiritually, I must do what He says. Just like when I am physically sick, I know to do what the Doctor tells me. Maybe that makes sense. Bottom line is that when I realize that I am out of Step with God, I DO know that the best medicine for my soul is to go to Him, spend time with Him and get back in line with his plans for me.

13 Then Haggai, the LORD's messenger, gave this message of the LORD to the people: "I am with you," declares the LORD. 14 So the LORD stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the whole remnant of the people. They came and began to work on the house of the LORD Almighty, their God, 15 on the twenty-fourth day of the sixth month in the second year of King Darius.

And WHAT did that say? When the people turned back to God and did what HE said......WHAT did God say?
That's right...."I AM WITH YOU"

Finally, I have learned over and over and over that there are no limits to the Love of God. He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He does not sleep. He has proven himself worthy of my service and dedication and unwavering devotion. When I am seperated from Him, it is not because He left ME. Rather, it is ALWAYS because I decided to build my own house rather than His temple. When I am focused on God and on using my life and my thoughts and my body to serve Him. I am full and fulfilled. When I decide to do things for myself and "build my own house" is never, never, never enough.

When I find myself yearning for more, unfulfilled, or otherwise restless, I am WISE to check my heart and see what my focus is. Another way God shows His love for me is giving me the longing in my soul to be near to Him. When I am seperated from him, i feel it.....and I want Him back.

So, I am building the the gym, at home, in Bible Study and Quiet time, in caring for the family He has entrusted to my care, I am serving Him and walking with him and feeling very full and content and.....satisfied.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Kenalog Injection

I would like to say that I was worried about nothing and that the kenalog injection was not as bad as i anticipated.....that would be a lie. It was pretty terrible.
I don't think my throat went completely numb until after it was over. It didn't really hurt. Okay, it sorta hurt. not like a stick. I mean, I didn't feel the prick of the needle. I felt the pressure of the needle and just knowing that Doc S had a needle in my neck was enough to send me reeling.
Now, it is true that the Kenalog injection did not HURT, was rather uncomfortable, but not painful....the aftermath however has been painful. I have yet to be able to eat solid food. I guess that pain will be over tomorrow.
I will say that Doc was as considerate as he could be and was totally concerned with my comfort level and I truly do not think ANY one could have done it any better. But it was terrible all the same.
ALL that being said. My voice is already clearer. Still soft. Not a lot of volume. But it is clearer. I still don't have much of a low range, but my upper range is expanding even more. THat's kinda neat I guess.

Okay, enough whining.
The Kenalog injection was terrible, but how could a needle through my neck NOT be terrible, right?
If it fixes my voice, it is worth it....and this IS the final stage of all the garbage that started Sept. 2008 when I had the first surgery to remove what ended up being cancer from my cords. AND I suppose I shouldn't whine too much. I don't have a trache, I do have a voice, I still have both my cords, and I don;t have cancer anymore. I am blessed beyond measure and I really do know that. I am grateful that God lead me to Doc Schweinfurth. I am thankful that they cured me. I know that a pretty voice is asking a bit much after all this.

So, I am done whining....til the next injection anyway.....hee hee hee


it's NOT the pollen!

okay, I know that it is spring and that every car is covered in pollen and I am SURE that the pollen is not HELPING my voice in any way shape form or fashion. Still, I am really OVER well meaning people commenting onthe quality (or lack there of) of my voice. I am hoarse. Have been hoarse for, oh, let's LEAST 3 years. And although the pollen is not helping at all, I feel fairly certain that the 5 surgeries I had on my vocal cords last year to remove the cancer that decided to take up residence there has much more to do with my raspy voice than does the pollen!
Whew! Glad to get THAT off my chest!
I really want to tell these folks, "no, i had cancer. Let's go grab a cup of coffee and I'll tell you all about it"
I know they mean well. I think the thing that bothers me is that these well meaning people seem to pop the pollen question just about the time that I think my voice might actually be improving. Then they comment on my hoarse-ness and I think "if a total stranger comments on it then it must be really bad."

So, I have decided to go ahead and get the Kenalog injections. UGH! After all this, a shot in the throat has given me more stress than any of the surgeries I had....except maybe the neck dissection....wasn't too thrilled about that. My appointment with the Good Doc S is at 9:15,so I had better get going.

MAybe it won't be as bad as I think........

I'll let ya know.....

Monday, April 19, 2010

Vacation: Day One

First day of Vacation....
It is almost 10  and I am still in my pjs. Terrible, I know. I am a total waste of human flesh this morning. I HAVE done a few loads of laundry and have gotten everything put away that we took with us to Meridian this past weekend. Speaking of Meridian...Brian's team placed thrird! Last game went into overtime! The boys nearly gave us all heartattacks!
Now that I am on the topic....I really did enjoy this weekend. It was great to be with the family. It was great for Brian to be the center of our attention.

It is SUPER GREAT that Pearl has 3 teams going to state! where was I....oh yes....vacation....

So far I am worthless. Sort of. Izzy and I are hanging out watching cartoons. Had some oatmeal. Taught her how to call her daddy on my cell phone. She has called him 3 times inthe past 10 minutes to ask him totally random questions. He is gonna kill me! hee hee hee hee hee
Now she wants "Mrs Twisty's" number.....oh! This is gonna be FUN! hee hee hee

So, day one of vacation.....i need a plan....


Saturday, April 17, 2010

What a great day!

We are in Meridian playing soccer this weekend. Staying in a motel and just...playing soccer.

I had forgotten how much I really enjoy spending time with my sweet husband. That may sound strange, unless you are a pastor's wife. Maybe other husbands work 24 hours a day too, but I only know mine. Even though we are together all the time. we aren't really together. I'm doing my thing, he is doing his. You know how it goes. Everyone demands his time and his ear and his advice...I hate to ask for it when he gets home too.
Today we were just together. Cheering Brian and the Vipers through 2 games and keeping Izzy within earshot. It was a good day. A really good day. It helped that the Vipers won both their games, but that was not why it was so great. It was great to just be with the fam.
It's not so hard to lose track of time and in the process lose track of  family....even if you are with them every day.
 Brain is growing up so fast. Before I know itr he will be gone. Izzy is still so little, but then again, it seems like just yesterday Brian was only 5 too.
I feel like I should have some thing earth shaking to say, but I don't. Well, aside from sayiing that I have been reminded today that I have an amazing husband and great kids and that I really really think my little family is super cool. I am So thankful that God gave them to me to care for!

Oh Lord! Thank you so much for my sweet little family! Thank you for entrusting them to my care. Forgive me for taking them for granted and for being impatient and critical. Thank you for today. Thank you for the time to just be together. Lord, I love serving you and I am humbled that you think I am capable of caring for Calvin, but today was a nice change of pace. It was nice to have my family all to myself. Thank you for that time with them. Lord, help me to be the wife and mom that they need me to be. Help me to care for and nurture them. Help me to create a home for them that is a safehaven, a peaceful place for them to retreat, a place for them to rest. Lord, I love you and again I just want to thank you for letting me be Calvin's wife and Brian and Izzy's mom. They are amazing people and I...well....thanks. I don't know what else to say.

Well, time to get some sleep.....or at least starts at 8am tomorrow!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday's Five Faves

Okay, so I am TOTALLY stealing this topic from a friend....she won't care one bit though.....

My five fave words

oober (not sure if that is REALLy a word...but it is used when I might normally use "really". For example, if something is totally compleatly gag-a-maggot disgusting...I could say it is "oober gross" rather than "really gross" or I might be oober excited...or something along those lines...I just like the word. Don't get to use it much though.)

conundrum - problem, puzzle, brain teaser



verbose (learned that one today!)- wordy

Well, that's it.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Forgive and forget

What does that mean anyway? To be honest, I think it is kind of a silly saying. I can't make myself forget anything. The very act of trying to forget something immediately cements it in my brain.

Still, I got a good lesson in "Forgive and forget" recently.

Someone whom I love dearly hurt my feelings. You know how that feels....kind of like the breath has been knocked out of you.

Crazy as it sounds, the scripture, "Forgive them for they know not what they do" came to mind immediately. It is true in this case. The person who hurt my feelings would NEVER intentionally hurt, she in essence did not know what she was doing.

I talk alot about things being "Heart issues", and this was one of those issues. I forgave her ...deep in my heart where it counts. I forgave her. Gone. Done. Over with. Forgiven. Okay, it did take a few minutes, but HONESTLY, it was less that 15 minutes before I let it go.

Here's the crazy thing....As SOON as I forgave her...and remember this is a heart issue, not just lip service. Deep down in my heart I forgave her....
  • I did not hurt heart has not hurt a single time since the moment I forgave her.
  • I feel absolutely no different toward her than I did before this incident. Absolutely no different. There is no doubt, no anger, no fear of being hurt, no mistrust. I truly FEEL as though it never happened.
  • Our relationship was restored (so in essence, I forgot has no bearing on our friendship and she is not in my debt and I do not have negative feelings toward her...that's pretty close to forgotten.)
Now, the way I see it, I had 2 choices. I could forgive her or I could Lord this over her. In my experience, holding a grudge and reliving hurt just hurts. Who wants that? It was bad enough that it hurt the first time....who wants to relive it and hurt over and over again? AND how can i profess to love this person if I INTENTIONALLY cause her pain because she UNINTENTIONALLY hurt me? There is a whole attitude of "I am gonna hurt them like they hurt me"  that i hear a lot of people in my life living by...that thought and belief is straight from the pit. I am not buying into it ever again.

Like I said, I had 2 choices. I forgave. I feel GOOD about that. I am not hurting, and our relationship is restored. I realized in a split second that I truly do love this chick like a sister and that I love her too much to do anything but forgive her completely and totally. I feel like she probably realizes that too and our friendship is stronger because of it.

I can't make this really make sense tonight. So sorry. I guess the bottom line is that I knew that I loved my friend and would rather keep my friendship than force my friend to feel guilty and be in debt to me for hurting my feelings. I think I realized just how much I value our friendship and how important my friends are to me in the moment it took for me to decide what to do in this situation.

I see too many marriages, families, and friendships blow all to pieces because of unforgiveness. Someone gets hurt and then feels completely justified in hurting the other person by holding the hurt over their head until....until when? So many times the answer is forever. What's the good in that? In my case, words hurt my feelings. There is absolutely no way on earth that my sweet friend could take those words back even if she wanted to. Isn't that usually the case? In thinking back over the people I have held a grudge against....not one of them could CHANGE or TAKE BACK the incident that hurt me. So how long do I wait to forgive if there is no way for the people who hurt me to make the hurt go away. Sadly, the answer is "forever".....unless I CHOOSE to FORGIVE and FORGET! 

There is something to that....but my mind is moving on to something else right now....may have to revisit later....

Father God,
Thank you thank you thank you for this wonderful lesson! Thank you for the opportunity to show my friend how much I value her friendship and how much I value her as a person and as Your child. Help me Lord to always be QUICK to forgive and help me to value the people in my life more than i value being "right" or being "justified" or (sigh) getting revenge. Lord, help me apply this in all my relationships, especially the relationships with those closest to me...Calvin, the kids, my friends and family. Help me to remember that it isn't good for me to hurt someone because they hurt me. Help me to remember that this is not your way of doing things. Help me to take the opportunity to show the people you have put in my life unconditional love by showing them true, heartfelt forgiveness.

hugs all around!