I didn’t go to Weight Watchers last night. Things are a bit
crazy at my house right now.
Brian’s surgery added to the normal chaos at the Williams
home is just a bit much. Anyway, Izzy was terribly sweet and volunteered to
cook dinner so I stayed home and helped her.
I’m kinda bummed. I’m not sure that it has much to do with my
weight loss (or lack thereof). It’s like I just can’t get settled. I feel
uneasy, unsettled, un-okay.
It will pass. Always does. Right now I just don’t feel “right.”
So anyway, I didn’t lose any weight this week...which stinks
SO badly.
I have to take eating seriously. I think I still believe
that I can eat what I want “just this once” and look the way I dream about
looking. If “Just this once” was only ONCE, it would be FINE, but I have a “just
this once” moment several times a day.
Wow, how much does THAT sound like my spiritual life?!?!?!
More times than I can mention, I have had “Just this once”
moments in all sorts of areas. Just this one lie, just this one half-truth,
just this one compromise, missing my quiet time “just this once” or not obeying
God’s prompting to reach out to someone who is hurting… my spiritual life is
crippled by my half-commitment and compromise. AND just like “Just this once”
results in a less than desirable weight watcher journey, my spiritual life isn’t
want I want it to be if I “cheat” on the program.
I’ve got to get it together. I do know that much!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also know that life is hard. Things come up that break ya
down. Things happen that make dieting hard…and things happen that make life
hard.
So I’ve got to get it together. I know that these “just this
once” moments, undermine my goals. Separately, they aren’t anything that would
catch my attention. A hand full of chips here, skipping Quiet time there, not
getting enough sleep, letting the laundry pile up, not exercising… nut together
it all adds up to a big messy me.
That’s all I have for this week. More of the same I guess.
One day I’m going to be one of those people who is completely in control of my
cravings and desires. One day I am going to be that girl who says “I only drink
water”; “I don’t like Chocolate”; “I HAVE to keep my house clean” and “I love
the gym.” I’m not there yet, and I don’t expect to be there next Wednesday, but
MAYBE I can stop believing the “Just this once won’t hurt” lie and body (and my
life) will start looking more like I want it to.
Til next week!
Kw
