Thursday's Thoughts on... Getting it together

I want to try and describe the paradigm shift I have experienced recently. I'm not sure when it happened, if it happened all at once or gradually over the past 12 months, or if I've always known this and just...I dunno... not believed it. 

Here's the shift... I am not responsible for anyone else's happiness...but more than that... no one is responsible for mine. Well, no one but me of course. Conversely, I am not responsible for anyone else's bad attitude...and more than that... no one is responsible for mine. Again, no one but me of course. And I suppose it goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway... I am completely responsible for my own happiness and my attitude.

I heard this in therapy, but it didn't completely soak in until this past week. Honestly, I woke up Saturday morning and thought to myself :

"I'm responsible to me and for me." 

My happiness is my responsibility. My satisfaction with my life is my responsibility. My confidence is totally reliant on what I think of me and not on anyone else's opinions or thoughts of me.  My level of acceptable "togetherness" is determined by me and it is my responsibility to keep things at that level. Acceptable levels of  success, health, self confidence, and basic like-ability are all determined by, you guessed it... me. 

This is both wildly freeing and paralyzingly frightening.

I really cannot control how others feel about me...or about themselves. This is hard to even type. A core belief from my childhood sounds something like this: 

"If anyone in your life is unhappy it is because you are not 'enough' OR you are 'too much' for them. If anyone in your life is unhappy, that means you should change."

I'm not sure where this came from, but I have believed it in my very soul.

As I type this, I think that maybe I realized this months ago, acknowledged it, and promptly buried it alive.  As I said, the whole idea of determining my value, worth, success, etc without basing it on what someone close to me thinks of me is... frightening.... and totally freeing.

I hope that, in time, I will be satisfied with and confident in who I am.  I hope that, in time, I will love what and who I love with no need to explain or defend either. 

Below is a list of questions I'm pondering. I'll try to answer them over the next few weeks. I'd love to know if you struggle with these same things and, if so, what are your answers to these sorts of questions. Also, what other questions should I consider?

Just my thoughts,

K

What determines my worth?

What would my perfect version of me be like?

What is holding me back?

What is consistently causing me stress?

What do I really enjoy?

What will make my life easier?

What do I NOT enjoy?

When do I feel successful?

When do I feel confident?

What do I LIKE about me?

What do I truly value?

Wednesday's Weekly Recipes - Ambrosia

Ambrosia reminds me of  lightnin' bugs and warm summer nights. It also reminds me of noisy Christmas kitchens and sitting at the "Kids' table" with my cousins.  It's super easy to make and, if you're in a pinch, you can make it even easier by using a couple of cans of fruit cocktail instead of mandarin oranges and pineapple.  My personal favorite is a combination of the 2...Mandarin oranges, fruit cocktail, and pineapple... and I also like to add a mixture of cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk to mine. 

SO versatile!

No wonder my grandmothers always served this light dessert. 

Original recipe

additional fruit cocktail

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 (11-ounce) can mandarin oranges, drained
• 1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained
• 2 cups sweetened shredded coconut
• 2 cups miniature marshmallows
• 1 (8-ounce) tub COOL WHIP Whipped Topping

DIRECTIONS:

1. Using a rubber spatula, gently fold together all ingredients in a large serving bowl. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

See? EASY!

Big hugs!

K

Tuesday Tips and Tricks - Getting Organized - The porch

SPRING IS IN THE AIR!

Time to get outside...at least here in the south.

The Porch is just part of Deep South culture. I would LOVE to have a big front porch, but I do not. I do however have a lovely covered back porch, a sunroom, an open carport, and a small front "covered sidewalk" for lack of a better description.

It will be hotter than the 4th level of hell by the end of May, so we have to make quick work of getting our outdoor spaces in order.

Begin by sweeping the carport, porch, and driveway.

Pressure wash the house.  ( I think we are going to need to paint ours this year)

Clean the windows.

Clean off the outdoor furniture, applying a new coat of paint as needed. Repair or replace  seat cushions and pillows.



Whew! That's enough for one week!


So glad the winter is over!
Hugs!
K

Monday Motivation

I need this reminder often. More often than I'd like to admit. I'm sure I am not the only one. My "brokenness" changes...sometimes I am emotionally broken by others; other times I am spiritually broken by my own sin; still other times I am broken simply because life has beaten me up. 

It is nice to be reminded that no one... NO ONE is too broken for Jesus.