Sunday was hard. Sunday started a downward spiral that I've been fighting all week. This has been one of the hardest weeks I’ve fought thru in a long time. I’m sharing it day by day... maybe I’ll look back on it at some point and think “this is the week I didn’t quit.” Or “this is the week I pushed thru.”
It all started Sunday morning when I got dressed for church and caught myself in the mirror and realized....
I'm still fat.
I've been getting up at freakin 345 in the morning. Working my tail off in the gym before most people even open their eyes. I FEEL different. I'm stronger, firmer, thinner.... or I thought I was. My mirror told me a different story Sunday morning. I was devastated.
I'm still fat.
Monday my alarm went off and I hit snooze. I don't "have" to go to the gym. World won't stop spinning if I skip the gym. I was tired. The very last thing I wanted to do was get up and put more time in at the stupid gym. What's the point anyway?
Then I remembered something I keep seeing on social media and Pinterest. Something along the lines of "It's a slow process, but quitting won't speed it up." There's also "70% of people who start a fitness plan, will quit... except you... not this time." and "If you want to stop having to start over, stop quitting."
So I got up, got dressed, and went to the gym.
Tuesday, my alarm went off and I told myself that NO ONE would blame me if I slept a few more hours. well.... no one except ALL the folks at the gym! haha. I got up and get dressed and was at the gym on time. I was glad I did. REALLY glad I did.
Yesterday I got up a bit easier, got to the gym and started warming up and realized that something is hurting... my knees? My legs? My ankles? My knees hurt... certain movements cause a sharp pain, but mostly they are just really sore... like it just hurts to move. My shins are aching again and added to that is a sharper pain every time I move my legs. What the heck? It's like someone took a sledge hammer to my shins. Turns out ankles are fine... just having sympathy pains for the rest of my legs. Still did the workout, but it was SO much harder than it has been... or has it? Shoot... it's just hard. All of it. From waking up so early, the warm up (which is a workout in itself, I am positive of this), all the "stations" of the day's workout... it's ALL hard. Thing is, some days I really really really think I might vomit, or pass out, or fall down... or all three... and other days it's just hard.
I wonder why that is. No matter, I limped and whined through Wednesday's workout and then sat at my desk with ice on my knees the rest of the day.
So today we made it to the 1/2 way point. 6 weeks down.
My legs hurt as soon as my feet hit the floor this morning. My knees hurt. I have decided that I don’t THINK I’m “injured” so much as I’m REALLY sore. I think I just did more the first of this week and used new muscles, stressed new connective tissue... all that good stuff. Gonna do light cardio over the weekend and hopefully be good as new on Monday.
We weighed in today and I wanted to cry. I didn’t lose any weight. How can that be? Shawn gave me the whole “could be water” and coach mert gave the “muscle weighs more than fat” speech. Still... I was devastated.
I’ll map out my plan for the next 2 weeks tomorrow. Also gonna measure myself... just to see if this whole “losing inches not pounds” idea is reality or not.
I do know that the diet is going to go thru some major changes.
I shared the struggle this week simply to remind myself, and maybe to remind you, that sometimes we just have to keep doing what we do. Trust the process. Follow thru with the commitments we’ve made. Don’t quit. My hope and prayer is that at the end of 12 weeks I’ll be able to look back on this week and be truly proud that I didn’t give up. I hope that when I get to the end of 12 weeks I’ll be GLAD I didn’t quit this week.
Right now I’m just ready for this week to be over...
Just my thoughts
K
