Today Brian is 18. For 18 years, he’s been mine. I’ve heard
“we only have them for a little while” since he was a baby. Today the reality
of this simple phrase hits home. He is a legal adult. In less than 2 months he
will graduate High School. This summer he will be on his own, 800 miles away
from us.
I have friends who cried for months when their children
turned 18, but I’m not. I’m excited for him and what life holds for him.
I mean, he’s never really been mine. Oh my goodness I love
him so much it hurts, but this boy has always been God’s - on loan to me until
he could take care of himself. Now that time is rapidly approaching and he will
do what he’s always said he’d do and his desire to leave us this summer is no
surprise.
He’s ready. He doesn’t keep his room clean or cook and is
prone to oversleep. But what he needs, he has: a deep love for the Lord and a
strong sense of accountability to God. He is going to be just fine apart from
us, because he never really answered to us anyway. He has always answered to
God. While our ideas about what he should and shouldn’t do might change over
time, he has never wavered in anything that really mattered. I know that’s
because he knows that it is more important to please God with is life than it
is to please his parents.
He is a gift. This boy has brought me more joy than I ever
imagined possible. Watching him grow into a man has been the single greatest
experience of my life to date. He is everything I wish I’d been. In many ways,
he’s who I’d like to be now. He is good, kind, thoughtful, and gracious. He is
humble, brave, courageous and strong. He loves the Lord and His life shows that
more vividly than any other person I know. I know him. I see him at his best and worst and can honestly
say that Jesus oozes out of him.
God has always had His hand on Brian. Since he was a little boy,
he has been God’s. I don’t know how to explain this other than to say that
Brian is just different, set apart…like God’s hand is on him, guiding him,
directing him and protecting him from the things that can harm his witness. I
don’t know that he will always be safe from harm or that he will live to a ripe
old age. I don’t know if he will marry or have children. I do know this… until
he gets to heaven, he will do everything he can to share Christ with those God
puts in his path.
I feel like I’ve had this amazing guy all to myself for 18
years and now I get to watch God use him “out there” in the world. I am
thankful, truly thankful that God trusted me enough to let me be Brian’s mom. I
am so proud of the man he has become. I love who he is. I am honored to be his
mom and I can’t wait to see what God is going to do in and through him.
Brian’s okay. He’s ready. He knows who he serves and who he
answers to. I don’t have to defend him or tell people what a strong Christian
he is. There is no “but” with him. There is no “Brian loves Jesus but…” or
“Brian is a good kid but…” or “Brian is respectful but…” or “Brian tries,
but…” No, he isn’t perfect, and yes, I
think he’s close. I just see Christ in Him. Nothing is greater than this. He is
amazing, not because of anything he’s done on his own or because of anything
we’ve done as parents, but because his life is submitted to Christ.
So, He’s 18. I’ll have him to myself for a few more months,
but in my heart I am already letting him go.
After all, this is what we raised him for.
