Saturday Sabbath

Get Fit Friday - 5 month Update

5 months ago, I thought that the best way to feel better about myself was to "get in shape" in a purely physical sense. I thought that losing fat and building muscle would increase my self confidence and sense of value and worth.

I was wrong.

If you've been following my ramblings this past year, you've shared my journey as I have looked deep into myself to discover what I truly value. Thank you for sticking with me. It has been a bumpy ride peppered with dizzying circles of thought and random, sometimes short lived, plans.

This month will mark one year since I attempted to end my life.

I've learned much about my thoughts, feelings, values, and desires and have grown to appreciate the things about me that make me... me. I will discuss this at length in a few weeks on the anniversary of the day I didn't die. Hmmmmm..."The Day I Didn't Die" sounds like the title of a book.

Yesterday I shared my thoughts on being overwhelmed and being more gentle with the standards I set for myself. Today I want to touch on my thoughts and feelings about my physical body. While my physical appearance is important to me...there are things I value much more than my physical appearance.

Thing is, my appearance is quite plain. I'm overweight, brown hair and eyes, light skin and freckles. I am taller than most women I know. None of those things are anything that would turn heads.

I'm reminded that there is so much more to my body than the way i look....

My  body has grown 2 babies, fought (and won) 2 battles with cancer, withstood almost 20 surgeries and or procedures that required general anesthesia, has recovered from bile leaking from my liver into my abdomen after my gall bladder was removed, and, most recently, survived an effort on my part to die.

I appreciate my body. It has served me so very well.

Even so, I have decided that the thing I like most about me is not my body, but rather what is housed there.

It's my heart, my soul, that I want others to see, feel, and experience. That is where the Holy Spirit resides and where love is born. All that is lovely about me is Christ in me. This is what I want to grow and cultivate.

I have spent hours...days...months even... considering what legacy I want to leave. When I'm gone, what memory do I want to leave with the people God has given me? I have settled on something so simple...I think I have always known this, but I didn't trust it...I didn't think it was enough. Again, I was wrong...It's more than enough. When I'm gone, I want to leave one simple memory with the people God gave me...

"Kris loved me"

That's all.

How does this fit it with "Get Fit Friday?" Well, my thoughts on my body have changed. Rather than thinking of exercise and eating healthy as punishment for being fat or as means to become beautiful, my thoughts of being healthy have changed to just that... being healthy.  I'm not terribly concerned with how I will look...I am concerned with caring for this body that has been so faithful to serve me these 45 years. I'm not worried about the scale or the size of my clothes. Instead, I am going to lovingly care for my body while I focus on what truly matters to me... making sure that the people God puts in my path know that they are loved.

I was taught that tenderness is weakness.I was taught that gentleness would be taken advantage of. I was told that I should be tougher, stronger, more assertive, bolder, and more self-promoting...that I should stick up for my self, push my agenda, and demand to be treated "right"... and I believed these things...I truly believed them.

The people who told me these things were wrong.

God created me soft, gentle, and tender hearted. He created me kind, caring, nurturing, and peace-loving. He created me to love, encourage, and invest in others.

I'm going to do more of that. I'm going to grow those things God placed in me. I'm believing that God created me the way He wants me to be so that He can accomplish His will in me. I am resting in the belief that I am exactly who God created me to be...and that HE will change things that HE wants changed in me.

I guess I will need to rethink Friday's theme. Maybe not. Who knows? I guess we will find out next week.

Much love and big big hugs!
K

Thursday Thoughts on... being overwhelmed

As you can see from many of the tips and tricks I share, I STRUGGLE with getting it all done. I have very high expectations and most of the time fall terribly short. I believe that my house should be spotless (which it never is), my closets and drawers all neatly organized (so so on this one), meals should be  planned out and prepped (working on this - but currently failing miserably), and I should still have time for a bath every night, time to paint my nails and give myself a pedicure and get to bed at a decent hour. Oh! I forgot, work 40 hours a week, enjoy my hobbies of crochet, writing, flower gardening and painting, be active in church (at least Sunday morning, Sunday Night, and Wednesday Night), volunteer in the community, participate in a Pastors' wives ministry, and go to the gym 5 times a week.

I

      am

               overwhelmed


I can't get it all done. I have friends who's homes are always in order, kids are in order, everything runs like a well oiled machine while I'm running out the door to work hoping I have all my clothes on! I try to be that mom who has it all together, but no matter how many ways I slice it, I'm just not.

It's not working for me, this whole "try to get it right again this week" and failing... again.

So here's what I'm proposing to myself.

First of all, I'm gonna give myself a break. I'm going to re-evaluate my standards and (gasp) give myself permission to lower them as needed.

I'm gonna look at the things that suck up my time. (I know right off the bat the my cell phone is the number one culprit)  I'm going to reclaim that time for other things. Yes, this starts with putting down the phone. (my heart hurts a bit just thinking about this)

Less screen time will free up some much needed time in each day.

Secondly, I am going to look at the hours I have available to me outside of work and church and figure out what I can realistically accomplish during this time. Here's a small catch.... I can't go without sleep because lack of sleep can bring on depression and goodness knows I don't need that.
So, I need to look at the hours I have outside of work, church, and sleep and see what I can realistically accomplish during that time.

I don't know what that looks like yet, but rest assured I will keep you updated on the process.

I'll leave my Tuesday tips where they are for now and finish out what we're doing there. I think that my next set of Tuesday Tips may very well be a bit less wordy and geared more toward mom's like me who just aren't meant to be "that mom."

I'm just not the fabulous mom who has it all together, and that's okay. It is. Someone has to be ordinary. Might as well be me. 

Much love and big big hugs
K

Wednesday's Weekly Recipe: Strawberry Spinach Salad

Oh goodness this salad makes me HAPPY!

I originally got this recipe (below) from Add A Pinch.

I've made all sorts of variations of it. I've added peaches (my favorite), grapes, black berries, or watermelon and/or cantaloupe. I've added sunflower seeds and substituted walnuts...and have made it without nuts altogether. Like last week's recipe, you can add to and take away from this recipe...
whatever makes you happy.

Ingredients
2 teaspoons poppy seeds
3 tablespoons sugar
 1/4 cup olive oil
 2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
 9 ounces fresh baby spinach
 1 quart fresh strawberries cleaned, hulled and cut in half
1/2 cup toasted pecans
1/4 medium red onion thinly sliced (optional)


Directions

1. Add the poppy seeds, sugar, olive oil, and vinegar to a mason jar. Secure the lid and shake well to combine. Refrigerate an hour to up to 7 days.

2. Combine the spinach, strawberries, pecans, and red onion slices (if using) in a large salad bowl or on a platter. Pour the dressing over salad, and lightly toss. Refrigerate about 10 minutes before serving.

Tips and Tricks...For working Moms...Week 7

Whew! Finally! I have learned more time saving tricks than i though possible! I hope you have found these posts helpful as well! If so, let me know what you've implemented in the comment section below! Also, if you have any tips or tricks you want to share with other working moms, leave that in the comments as well!

This week:

Health and Beauty Tips

You have to take care of yourself so that you're well prepared to take care of everyone else. Whether it's saving time fixing your hair or putting on your morning face, these time saving health and beauty tips could give you more time in your day.

• Make sure that you get enough sleep. Being well rested will help you be more productive the next day and you can get more done in less time according to Working Moms.
• Use beauty products that serve a dual purpose. This will save you time and money according to Skincare-News.
• Save time in the morning by adopting the 5-minute face routine detailed on Van City Pretty.
• Schedule time in your day just for yourself, whether it's for working out or taking a bath, suggests Just 4 Families.
• Don't wash your hair every day; instead, Fizness recommends using a dry shampoo to perk it up and save time.
• Hold a tissue under your lashes to avoid time consuming mascara clean-ups per Daily Glow.
• Save time in the morning by blow drying your hair the night before and just touching it up in the morning, recommends My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries.
• Save time on doing your hair and go with a more natural messy look that is all the rage according to Marie Claire.

Monday Motivation

When was it?

The older we get, the easier it is to get in a "rut" of doing the same things over and over. I don't like ruts. I need something to be excited about. New things excite me. I like moving in a forward direction. Can't do that in a rut. I like to use my Bucket list to jump start me when I realize I'm feeling stuck in a rut.

What can you mark off your bucket list?
No bucket list? Are you kidding me?
MAKE ONE!

Okay, that's a bit harsh. I do like my list though. I add to it at least annually. I subtract from it sometimes too. Somethings just lose their appeal as I get older. Other things become a bit unrealistic as I age. Even so, it is an interesting practice to go back over my list from time to time. Sometimes it reminds me of what's important to me and what my long term goals are. Other times I am left wondering "What in the WORLD was I thinking???"

Interesting little something... this year I removed more things from my list than I ever have. I think that perhaps, after being forced to choose whether I wanted to embrace life or not, I am living with a bit more purpose. Things like "New Years Even in Times Square" have been removed or replaced, while writing a book and go back to college have moved to more prominent places in the list.


What am I doing for the first time right now?

- Last week I completed a baby blanket after learning a new crochet stitch.

- I started a compost pile this weekend.

- I tore up a half-filled flower bed. This is much more important than it reads. I have a difficult time  changing my thoughts on things. Once I have in my head how something "should" be, it is almost impossible for me to change my mind about it. I had a plan for this flower bed. It has not worked out like I wanted. I've had much guilt over this project not turning out like I wanted. So, I forced myself to give up my original plan. Now, instead of a huge half thought out flower bed, I have 3 separate, well put together points of interest in the back of my yard.  Oh! and I used the landscape timbers to set boundaries for my compost pile.
 
-Finally, I'm building up to doing 25 push ups. Real push ups. The struggle on that one is real. So very real.


What projects are you working on?


Have a great week!
K