Judas

Back around Easter I commented that I feel sorry for Judas. I was thinking about him again today, and am struck with the realization that, even though I've tried, I can't begin to imagine what he must have gone through. Obviously, he did not fully realize who Jesus was. If he'd known, how could he have turned Him over to the Sanhedrin? So, with that in mind, what in the world happened to Judas in the time between when he kissed Jesus on the cheek in the Garden and when he tried to return the 30 pieces of silver to the Sanhedrin? 

When did he realize "I've made a grave mistake"?

It is easy to be harsh in my judgment of Judas. It is easy for me to think, "How in the WORLD could he NOT know that Jesus was the Messiah?" I mean really, Judas walked with Jesus, talked with Jesus, was there when Jesus performed miracles, heard Jesus teach. Oh my Goodness! How could he NOT know???? I don't know the answer to that question. But I do know this...

I owe Judas a great debt.

Judas shows me what my future would be like without Christ.

Once Jesus is handed over to Pilate, Judas tells the Sanhedrin that he was wrong. You can read about it here. Judas offers to return the 30 pieces of silver, saying "I have sinned by betraying innocent blood".  Scripture says that Judas was "full of remorse". Wow. Just wow. I can't even begin to understand the hopelessness Judas must have felt when the Chief priests and elders dismissed him.

Or can I?

I didn't turn Jesus over to be crucified, but I have done things that cannot be undone. I have done things that cannot be made right. I remember sitting in my friend Tom Sikes' office years ago, hearing him say, "Don't you believe that, through Jesus, God forgives you?", and wondering if Jesus's death and resurrection could really pay for all the wrong I'd done. I remember the hope I felt in the possibility that I could be forgiven for the life I'd led up to that point.

Judas had no such hope.

Judas could not seek forgiveness from Christ. He, like me, tried to "fix" things, to undo the wrong he'd done and he, like me, failed miserably. He could not have gotten to Christ if he'd tried at that point in the story. I wonder, IF Judas could have gotten through the crowd and the guards; if he could have somehow gotten in  to see Jesus one more time, to tell Jesus how sorry he was, how wrong he'd been... to  ask Jesus to forgive him, what would the result have been? I believe with all my heart that Jesus would have forgiven Judas, just as He has forgiven all who believe and trust Him. Judas didn't know that was an option. Perhaps Judas still didn't realize the magnitude of Jesus' power...

Whatever possibilities I come up with to ponder, the fact of the matter is that just like Judas, I have no hope without Jesus.

None of us do.

Twilight .... Bella's Choice

In a previous post I mentioned that one of the things I took away from the Twilight series was that Bella was willing to give up her soul to be with Edward. This created an issue for me. It made me quite uncomfortable and was almost enough to make me put the book down. "Garbage in = garbage out" and all that stuff.... but I didn't put the book down and I really did enjoy the read. Even so, I do want to work through the whole issue of Bella choosing Edward over "Heaven", because it really bothers me.

 

I'm not sure that Ms. Myer actually used the word "Heaven" in her writing. Maybe it was implied. At any rate, it was made clear that Bella did not want any part of anything here or in the here-after if Edward wasn't there. (gasp) Initially, the "good preacher wife" in me was aghast by the very idea that someone would put this in print and even more so that so many Christians don't seem to be phased by it in the least. I was surprised that this option was so easily accepted.

 

But, after I thought about it, I'm really not surprised at all.

 

I'm not surprised, because I have often wondered if people...good, church-going, hanging out with the preacher kinda people...really want Heaven.

 

I say this because of the hundreds of times people have told me what they are looking forward to in Heaven....

"I cant wait to get to Heaven so that I can see Mom again."

"I cant wait to get to Heaven so I can fish for eternity."

"He's playin golf in Heaven"

"I bet she's up there playing the piano in heaven"

 

I can count on one hand the number of people whose FIRST reaction to the topic of heaven is to tell me that they can't wait to see Jesus...and I might still have a finger or two left over.

 

So I have to wonder...Is Heaven in and of itself really what people want? If they don't get to see that loved one, if they don't get to fish or play golf, if Heaven REALLY does revolve around God and all we do there is PRAISE HIM....would they still choose it? Scripture says that it is all about God. Everything in Heaven worships God....constantly...for eternity. On any given Sunday many people choose to fish, play golf,  hunt, work in the yard, relax, spend time with friends or family, or to take their kids to a competition or practice, be it  dance, soccer, baseball, cheer, gymnastics, band, etc. instead of choosing to participate in corporate worship. This makes me wonder, if they place so much value on these activities that they take the place of corporate worship now, will they be disappointed if they don't have these options in Heaven...if corporate worship is all there is?

 

I know that the absolute number one thing I am looking forward to when I get to Heaven is seeing Jesus. I PRAY that He tells me "well done". To finally be in the presence of the one I've lived my life for will be far more wonderful than anything else I could imagine! Granted, I like to think of seeing my Great Nan again. I've even entertained the thought, "I hope she is proud of who I've become". Then I remember where I believe she is and I smile and shake my head, knowing that I am the FARTHEST thing from her mind...because I do believe that she is in the presence of GOD ALMIGHTY and I believe that there is nothing going on with her other than worshipping Him.

 

I wonder how many people choose Heaven by default. They don't want Hell, therefore, they choose Heaven. If their idea of  Heaven revolves around of visiting with loved ones and doing all the fun things they enjoy here in this life, I can't help but wonder...

 

If choosing Heaven meant giving up the things they love now, would they still choose it?

 

And if not,

 

Is that choice any less horrifying than "Bella's"?

 

It breaks my heart.