The Battle

One of the hardest things we fight against in the ministry is ourselves. I can't speak for every person called to the ministry, whether they are full time, behind the pulpit, in the mission field, teaching Sunday School, ministering to the people they work with in their secular job, or otherwise...and would like to think that there are SOME ministers out there that do not fight this battle. But every minister, man or woman, that I personally know does fight it. It is a huge battle in the War against self and it is the battle between what I want from my ministry and what GOD wants from my ministry.

This is complicated by the fact that few understand the ministry. I personally have family members that meant well when they asked if Calvin would get a promotion when he got out of Seminary. How do I explain to them that a promotion in the Ministry could consist of living in a tent in some forsaken part of the world? Or working in an inner-city church ministering to the homeless, or taking a pay cut to minister to an elderly congregation in a small church in rural Kentucky, or planting a new church and taking a secular job as well because a new congregation cannot afford to pay a pastor? A "promotion" in Ministry is not the same as a "promotion" in the secular world. GOD's agenda is not the same as ours. Moving "up" in ministry can easily be viewed as "stepping down" from a secular viewpoint.

One of the things I most admire about Joshua and Calvin is derived from one decision that each of them made.

Calvin was approached by a church a few years back. He was hesitant about moving his family and told the search committee that he would pray about it. They immediately responded that they would pay him xxx amount of $$ and said they hoped that would help him make his decision. It did help, but not in the way they planned. Their secular view of ministry helped him to know that he was not supposed to go to that church. The salary they offered was more than the both of us made at the time and he said he would never be absolutely certain if he took the job for the money or because that was where God wanted him to be.

Joshua took a pay cut and moved away from all of his friends and family to minister at Pearson. I have tremendous respect for both of these men because of their view about ministry. They want what GOD wants. Because I know this, it is easy for me to follow them.

The battle is simple...Am I doing this for God, or am I doing this for me? Is this what God wants from me to accomplish HIS agenda, or is it what I need to do to accomplish mine? Is this what is best for the KINGDOM, or is it what's best for me and my family? These are questions that go through my head every time I stand at a crossroad in my ministry. Sometimes there just isn't that much visible difference in the wide and narrow paths....or maybe I just don't want to look hard enough to see the difference.

I stood at the crossroad again yesterday afternoon, all last night and this morning. Thankfully, God, in His mercy and goodness, has grown me over the past several months and has revealed more of His character to my very soul than I ever imagined possible. So, at this crossroad I TRULY felt Him standing beside me, watching me look at both paths, and all I had to do was turn to Him and ask, "Which one, Lord? Which one do I take?"

The first path leads to (potentially) everything I could ever dream of. The opportunity to quit my "day job" and go into full time ministry, the opportunity to write a book, the opportunity to make "FLO" the next "E-Women" or "Women of Faith". This path leads to recognition, praise...being "somebody who makes a difference". This path leads to becoming someone who is "doing big things for God", making a difference in women's lives, this path leads to being "somebody". Well, it has the potential to lead to these things.

The second path leads to more of the past few years. Late nights preparing for Bible Study lessons and Sunday School Lessons. Early mornings just to find time to have a moment alone with my Savior. Answering anywhere from 10 to 50 e-mails a day from women who need prayer or who need to be redirected to their Savior, the Lover of their Soul...between preparing reports and creating graphs and spreadsheets and such for the job that pays my bills. Meeting with the Ministry team over lunch at Cracker Barrel and trying to hammer out major details of FLO while we inhale our lunch and get back to our "real jobs" within the allotted lunch hour. Typing blog posts and FLO e-mails between Saturday laundry loads, while carrying on conversations with my 4 year old about her puppy and her imaginary friend, helping my 10 year old with homework, and/or refereeing arguments between them about who gets to sit in the "big chair" and who gets to lay on the couch while they watch cartoons, making sure the new puppies don't pee pee on the carpet or chew up my shoes, and finding the remote for Calvin. In short, the second path leads to working my first love into the rest of my life.

While the first path seems to open doors and opportunities to put my first love, well... first, the second path seems to keep my first love in second place behind the rest of my life.

So, I stand at the cross road. These are my two paths, as best I can understand them. Beside me stands the One who really does know what the two paths lead to. So, this morning, after I had thought about it all night and told Him about it all night...this morning I asked Him, "Which one Lord? Which path do I take?"

My answer was simple "What did I do, Kris?"

People followed Jesus. Now, before you gasp and scream "Blasphemy!!!", I am NOT equating myself with Jesus. Believe me, I know my place and it is remarkably close to the bottom. But here's the thing, and it's pretty elementary. People followed Jesus because Jesus showed GOD to them. That's what He did, over and over and over and over again. Everything He did pointed to The Father. People knew GOD in ways they never imagined because they knew CHRIST. People's lives were changed because they came in contact with Christ.

Now Jesus is the bridge between people and God. Through Jesus, forgiveness is found, Through Jesus, hearts are healed and people are restored.

He preached the Sermon on the Mount and people followed Him afterward because He did NOT talk to them like the religious leaders. Over and over and over again, people followed Christ because He opened their eyes to the truth about their GOD...and about their relationship to HIM.

I believe with every fiber of my being that if we lead women to Christ Jesus, HE will do the same for them that HE did for the people in the Bible Stories.

So, I know which path to take....the second one. I will take the path that allows the people God has placed in my everyday life to see HIM in me. I will take the path that brings women to CHRIST because of who HE is, not because of who WE are. I will take the path that does not bring praise and recognition here and will instead wait until I stand face to face with my Creator. I would rather get a "well done" from Him than from any one here any day.

Hugs

K

All's Right with the World...mine anyway

Have you ever had a period of time when you feel like things just could not get any better? Ever had a period of time when things just seem to fall into place? Ever had a moment when you realize that everything is “right” and you just wish you could stay right there?
That’s where I am today. This has been a WONDERFUL week for our ministry, from a planning standpoint. We now are on the verge of having an official logo to go along with our blog so that we will have a visual attachment to the ministry. (Not exactly the golden arches, but it is a start!) The FLO blog has had over 300 hits in just 3 days, which totally blows my mind. So far we have hits from Mississippi (duh), Tennessee (my mom and childhood friends are all there), Texas ( the Spa Girls), and the UK (Anna, one of our young adults…she and her hubby Jeremey are in England with the Air Force). I am waiting on my friends in Destin to sign in and then am sooo looking forward to see how it spreads! We are starting another GREAT Bible Study on Wednesday…so the Flo Ministry is just going great!
To make things even better, I have somehow managed to keep my laundry caught up this week and do not have 14 bazillion loads of dirty clothes waiting to be done on Saturday! (Can I get an Amen?) The house is relatively clean, and if I really put my heart into it, I could probably get the floors swept, mopped, and vacuumed; the stuff that has to be dusted…dusted, and the bathrooms cleaned tonight and- TaDA!- could have tomorrow to…work in the yard. Unless it rains…and then I wouldn’t have to do that either! Anybody know a good rain dance?
We are going over to have burgers with some friends tomorrow night. They are a sure thing for laughing til your sides hurt, so that will be GREAT…and Don makes a mean burger!
Then Sunday is CHURCH! Talk about blessings! I don’t even know where to start. I think back to when Calvin was filling in as Interim Pastor 2 summers ago (has it really been that long?) and we were praying about whether or not to turn in his resume’ to the pastor search committee….and then look at where we are now…WOW! Talk about blessings! I cannot express what a blessing it is to be Calvin’s wife. It is amazing to watch him as he serves God with all he’s got. I know few people who truly seek God’s will in what they do…he is at the top of the list. Joshua came into the picture in January (really? Seems like we have known him for ever) and began to round out Pearson’s Ministry team. Those two are absolutely unbelievable. They are like brothers. I have never seen a more perfectly matched pair for ministry. Joshua almost immediately became a part of our family. Not just at church. I mean the kind of family that drops by, looks to see what’s in the fridge and plays the Wii with the kids. My point is, God has so obviously brought us to this point. Everything fits just right. Every ministry in the church is growing. Sunday school classes are growing. People are growing spiritually, and it is the most wonderful thing in the world to be able to be a small part of what is going on!
I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday that I am not dreading. No bad news this time. Just get to hear Dr. S tell me how amazing it is that the cancer is completely gone. Well, that is as long as I can get rid of this cough and fever. If not, then we will also have to talk about that. Maybe it will be gone by then and we can just talk about the good stuff…like no cancer and no more surgeries for 3 whole months! WooHOO!
So, right now everything is right….and I am so grateful. Just like I crawl into my Creator’s lap and cry when I am broken, I want to run to Him and wrap my arms around His neck and embrace Him in a big bear hug when things are this good. I want to rush to Him and tell Him all about my day. I want to just thank Him for making everything fall into place in every area of my life. Even if it is only for a short time, I am truly thankful.
Hugs
K

a little fever, but don't really even care!

This has been such a great week! We have had over 300 hits to the FLO Blog since yesterday and THAT is super exciting. My older brother has offered to help us promote the site, even though we’re “just girls”-ha ha His “job” is something about web trafficking or something like that that I know NOTHING about. He said he wanted to set up a twitter something for us and I told him the only thing I know about twitter is that the old Owl told Bambi that Thumper was “Twitter Pated”!

We are starting a super amazing Bible Study on the 22nd….Angela Thomas’s “Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” and I can’t wait!!!! You can read an excerpt from the book here : http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=73778&event=ECF#curr . It is GREAT!

The only “not-so-wonderful” part of this week is that this is the week I always get sick after I have surgery. Not sure why that is and I really don’t like it much. BUT I started coughing yesterday and today am running fever. Par for the course. It won’t last long. I have not had anything serious since my first surgery, when I got Pneumonia. This will pass soon. That is the only negative from this surgery (and I fully expect it to be over by Monday). The pain in my neck is still there, but I am sure there is a logical explanation for it too. I’ll find out on the 24th what Dr S thinks it is from. I e-mailed him yesterday and haven’t heard from him. I am sure if he thought it was anything, he’d have let me know.

Only 4 more “whole” days until I can TALK! I am so excited! I feel like I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I have my post op appointment with Dr.S on the 24th and am sooo looking forward to a visit where nothing is wrong! No scheduling surgery, not talk of cancer or weird growths in my throat! Just “Hey how ya doin? Fine, and you? Good, How’re the kids?” okay, maybe not THAT relaxed, but definitely better than the visits we have had in the past!

I truly feel like God has opened the doors of heaven and is letting the blessings shower down on me. It feels like everything is right in my little world. What a welcome relief!
Hugs!
K

Fun Stuff

Today was just....fun. I needed today. I needed to laugh and to just be happy. Tonight in FLO Bible Study, we talked about the difference in being Joyful and being Happy. I am normally joyful. Today I was just plain everyday happy.
Had lunch with the Ministry team. We had great fun making fun of me writing my end of the conversation. Turns out that my facial expressions have become...more expressive...in my silence. We laughed at the other girls feeling the need to talk with their hands or even take the pen from me and write themselves. We were all feeling a bit silly I suppose....but it sure did feel good. God has indeed blessed me with some amazing women to be in my close circle of friends. I love watching how we each relate to things differently. I love watching God work in their lives and allowing them to see him work in mine.
Tonight we "unveiled" the FLO Blog. Here's the link : http://pbc-flo.blogspot.com This afternoon, i sent an e-mail out to my friends that are not part of our Ladies Bible Study and told them about the blog. By the time I got ready to leave for church, we had 132 hits!
At church, Joshua let us use his laptop to let the ladies in Bible Study see the blog and see how to sign in and all that fun stuff (some of them don't know a blog from a booger...neither did I a year ago, so I am not making fun!). So I got to church, and he had even set the laptop up for us! I was super impressed at this extra effort on his part because the men in our group of friends tend to make fun of FLO. One calls it "the secret society". Calvin and Joshua call it our Kumbayah meeting. Anyway, Joshua went the extra mile to help us introduce our blog. What a sweet guy! I found him, thanked him, and went to find Christa, Christie, and Lindsay. I wanted to sign on and show them how many people had hit the blog so far. Found Christa and Lindsay. Went back to the PC. Clicked on the link....and Kumbayah began to play. THOSE RASCALS! I have to admit, putting our "theme song" on our blog was...well, they got us good. I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I was a bit freaked out that everyone who visited our blog before we could fix it would hear the instrumental version of the old "last night of church camp sitting around the campfire" song, but it WAS a great prank.
Come to find out, Joshua, being much younger and much more computer savvy than we are, set our blog up as a home page on his lap top or something. At any rate, he did NOT add it to our actual blog. Again....many laughs from that one.
So, today was a great day. Almost normal. I really needed it!
Hugs!
K

Be Still

Some days are just better than others. Today is one of those days.
Today is one of those days when it seems like God chose to stand a little closer to me. Now, maybe He did, and maybe He didn’t. Perhaps I simply chose to take a moment and bask in His embrace before I got started on my day. Perhaps He is always the same closeness to me and I choose not to acknowledge his presence. After all, I am a busy girl with important things to do. I do not always have time to stop and just “be” in the presence of the creator of the universe.
Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Crazy as it sounds to say it, that is how I live much of my life….too busy to just “be” with God… I cannot imagine that I am alone in this. I would think that you too may go through your days without stopping to just be with God.
May I be so bold as to challenge you? Stop, take a deep breath, relax your shoulders, exhale, and just be in His presence. Just for a moment. Picture Him standing by your chair. Relax into Him and feel the warmth of your Creator’s perfect embrace. Rest your head on His chest. No questions, no requests, just be in His presence. Close your eyes and listen for the beating of His heart and embrace the enormity of the fact that the creator of the universe LOVES you…YOU! He loves you with a love so pure and perfect that no human love can duplicate it. He loves you just as you are right now, flawed and imperfect. He just loves you. So take a moment and just let Him.
Hugs!!!
~K