Saturday Sabbath

Get Fit Friday - Firming Up My Faith - Observing the Sabbath

I remember in the first years of my Christian life, the Holy Spirit first convicted me of "big" things in my life that were against the will of God. They were easy to pick out, and pretty easy to remove. Over the years, He has brought seemingly "smaller" things to my attention. I use the term "smaller" simply because this is the way we see them as a society. Truth is, "secret" or "internal" or "hidden" would all be better adjectives to describe these sins. They are things like greed, lust, pride, envy, and vanity...among others. These are things that could possibly remain hidden from others and often would not be immediately labeled as sins even if they were noticed. Now that I consider this, I believe you would agree that we usually label the RESULTS of these sins as "sin" without acknowledging the root sin. Over time, the Holy Spirit has made me aware of the need to repent of such things.

Now it seems that I am moving into new territory... at least it is new to me.

I honestly have not thought much about actually making a conscious choice to observe the Sabbath. For all my Christian life, I have considered Sunday to be my Sabbath. No one in my life has been particularly hung up on what day of the week is observed as the Sabbath, and since we already go to church on that day, I guess we have defaulted to having a Sunday Sabbath.

But do we really?

I cannot honestly consider Sunday a day of rest for me or my family...or for any of my closest friends. Many times, Sunday is one of the busiest days of the week. I've been working thru this for a few weeks now and am finally ready to try to put my thoughts in print.

I am reclaiming Saturday for my Sabbath. This is the day that I can control what is scheduled. My desire is not to become rigidly legalistic. (I do not need more rules in my life.) Just as I discussed about tithing last week, I am simply moving to live my life more in accordance with God's plan.

God's Word says "6 days you shall labor and do all your work."  THAT's where I get hung up. I might want to rest on Monday after work, or go to bed early on Thursday or put laundry off til the weekend. What this leads to is no DAY of rest. I rest a bit here and a bit there. This rest is riddled with guilt because I KNOW there are things I should be doing...so it REALLY isn't fully restful.

This whole train of thought was put into motion several weeks ago when I looked at my schedule from a weekly point of view. I looked at how many hours I had to use outside of work, sleep and church and tried to make a schedule out based on that. I realized that Sunday is a busy day most weeks... definitely not a day of rest.

So my challenge is to make myself be a good steward of my time Sunday - Friday, so that I can rest and observe Saturday as my Sabbath.

Seriously, I'm not going to be all legalistic about this. I'm not going to use it as an excuse to not cook for my family or pick up something off the floor. I'm not going to split hairs about what is "work" and what isn't. I'm not going to refrain from driving or spending time with friends and family. I am not going to sit statue-still in a dark room all day.  I'm going to pray about how God would have me Honor Him this day. I'm going to spend Saturdays enjoying what God has given me to enjoy and I am going to use Saturday to spend much needed time in His Word and in Prayer. I am going to REST...physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

In light of this change, Sunday will be a day of worship. There are many acts of worship, from teaching, to praying, to serving, to singing and participating in corporate worship as a church body. I think that this will be a welcome change in my mindset about Sunday. I have found myself using "But this is supposed to be my day to rest" as an excuse for a bad attitude about being at church all day on Sunday. (truth hurts)

My thought on this is that it makes perfect sense and is SO totally like God to make things work out this way...

Observing the Saturday Sabbath allows me to be fully spiritually prepared for Worship on Sunday morning. God is a jealous God. He wants to be (and should be) the focus of my worship and the center of my thoughts... especially when I am in Church to Worship.

Rather than rushing into church and feeling stressed and over tired, I will be rested, restored, and filled... and ready to worship.

Then I can spend Sunday preparing myself physically for the week... meal and clothes prep, to do lists, etc. without feeling resentful or guilty.

I think that this is going to make a huge difference in my life.

Bug hugs and much love!

K

Thursday Thoughts on... life 1 year post suicide attempt

It is hard to believe that one year ago today I tried to end my life. 

I've learned so much in just 12 months.

I've come to fully believe that my value and worth as a person come from my identity in Christ and not in what other people think I'm worth.

I've learned that someone's opinion of me (good or bad) doesn't change who I am.

I've  (re)learned to be curious and objective about many things. I've learned that there is no danger in carefully unpacking something to examine it more closely. I've learned that it is okay to stop and examine things that bother me and consider WHY they bother me, rather than assuming that I am wrong for feeling bothered.

I've learned to let things go. Some things just aren't worth the struggle. 

I've learned to stop trying so hard.  Perhaps the one thing that has brought me the most freedom is accepting that not everyone that I want in my life needs (or wants) to be there. Please understand... there is absolutely no negative feeling attached to this. There are several relationships in my life in which I am the person doing the majority of the reaching out...sometimes not even receiving responses to my reaching out. I have always believed that, by continuing to reach out to someone, I am proving my loyalty and showing them the value of having me in their life...and the need I have for them to be in mine. I've realized that this effort on my part is, for the most part, futile.  I am no longer trying to prove my value and worth. I am going to be who I am and trust that the people who are supposed to be in my life will be. This has been a monumental paradigm shift for me.

I've learned that this battle against depression and suicide ideation is ongoing and is one I must fight primarily on my own. Even tho I do have people that I count on to point me back in the right direction when I get off track, no one can fight this battle for me. (except God, when I surrender my will to His... but that is a long post for another day)

I've learned that people are afraid of suicide.  That sounds much more cynical than I actually feel.  I know that, for the most part, people want to help...they just don't know how to.

I've learned that seasons of intense depression come and go. I've learned that, as long as I don't give up, I will have better days. 

I have learned that I get more of what I focus on. Don't misunderstand me. I take my meds. I see my counselor. I tell someone when I feel myself slipping into the darkness. BUT I get more of what I focus on.

When I focus on the darkness, I get more darkness. 

When I focus on light, I get more light.

I've learned that I have peace when I am obedient to God's Word and when I embrace who God created me to be. I've stopped trying to please others by being who I think they think I should be. I don't take responsibility for other's happiness or unhappiness...or for their actions.  I've learned to put healthy boundaries in place. I've learned to respect, value, and care for myself. I've learned that bad days are part of life, but life as a whole is not bad. When bad days come,  I've learned to take a deep breath and just wait it out. Most of all, I am striving to be who God created me to be and trusting that the people who are supposed to be part of my life will be there.

There are always going to be better days.

K

Wednesday's Weekly Recipe: Grape Salad

Have I mentioned that it is HOT?!? Goodness, this heat is suffocating and the thought of eating anything heavy makes me quite ill. So, here is another light something for summer time:

Ingredients
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 pounds seedless red grapes
2 pounds seedless green grapes
3 tablespoons brown sugar
3 tablespoons chopped pecans


Directions
In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese, sour cream, sugar and vanilla until blended. Add grapes and toss to coat.
Transfer to a serving bowl. Cover and refrigerate until serving. Sprinkle with brown sugar and pecans just before serving.

Tuesday's Tips and Tricks: basic tips to beat the blues

We ALL have days when we are just.... meh.

We ALL have days when we honestly are just mad...at everything.

We ALL have days when we wish we could just stay in bed until the day passes.

We ALL have bad days.

I've learned some very effective ways to attack bad days these past 12 months. I want to share the ones that work best for me.

Please understand... I'm no expert on depression. I only know me. I know how I feel and how my depression works. I know that I need medicine to help keep my depression at bay. The suggestions I'm listing today are not to be taken as a substitute for medical treatment or recommendations. These are things that I have found to be helpful in ADDITION to medicine and regular visits with my counselor. Okay? We clear?

Good.

When I feel the dark cloud of depression slipping its razor sharp claws around me, I WANT to cower and hide. I WANT to disappear. It can be overwhelming, suffocating, and paralyzing, but  there are several things I've learned do in self defense. These things are active, not passive. This isn't "think yourself happy." Okay?

1. Talk about it. This is so important. Tell someone that you are struggling. Bringing those dark thoughts into the light takes away their power....but you HAVE to talk about it in order to benefit from this. 
2. Get Up and Get Dressed. This is one is so simple, but SO hard. When you feel "meh" you don't WANT to get out of bed or off the couch. You WANT to just let the day pass you by. Fight that desire to just disappear! Get UP! Get a shower! Get DRESSED!
3. Get Moving! Depression is paralyzing. Fight that paralysis with MOVEMENT! Get UP! Take a walk, do some jumping jacks, ride a bike, fold the laundry, sweep the carport, rake leaves...just MOVE. Get your blood flowing. Get your heart pumping. JUST MOVE!
4. Get outside. Sometimes we just need some sunshine and fresh air. This goes hand in hand with moving your body. Go outside and sit and listen to the birds, the rustling of the leaves, watch the clouds, soak up some sunshine. I know this is hard in the cold months of the year. I have a friend who moved north and bought a sun lamp to help her through the long winter months. Honestly, sometimes you just need some fresh air to clear your head and blow away those dark clouds.
5. Surround your self with things that reflect the mood you WANT, not the mood you HAVE. This was a real game changer for me. I realized that, by listening to music, watching movies and TV, and reading things that reflected my mood, I was reinforcing that mood. I was solidifying and strengthening the mood I didn't want to be in by surrounding myself with things that amplified the mood. I stopped doing that and started surrounding myself with things that reflect how I WANT to feel and who I WANT to be... it helps more than you can imagine.
6. STOP FEEDING DEPRESSION. To be honest, there are days when I just want to wallow in my depression. I want to wrap myself in it and just...wallow. I want to dredge up every bad and sad thing that has ever happened and rot in it. If you have ever been depressed, you know exactly what I'm describing. We tell ourselves that we deserve to be allowed to wallow, that others don't understand how hard it is to live with depression, and that it is just too hard to fight. Well I KNOW how hard it is to live with depression and I KNOW that thinking we deserve to be allowed to wallow in it is a lie from the pit of hell. Satan wants us in bondage to whatever he can find. Depression works well for him and he uses it liberally. STOP FEEDING IT! Take a deep breath and stop that downward spiral into nothingness. 
7. GET HELP! If you are depressed and cannot find your way out of the darkness, reach out for help. Do not sit in darkness alone. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed for reaching out for help. If you had cancer you would get help. If you were Diabetic, you would get help and take your insulin. Get help for your depression. Take meds to help you fight against the darkness. Treat it just as you would any other illness.
8. Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep (but not too much), eat food that fuels your body. Get some exercise. Set aside some time for mental, spiritual, and physical rest. 
9. Finally... get you some Jesus. I believe that this is the single most positive life changing thing a person can embrace. I know that not everyone believes that Jesus is the Messiah. Some people don't even believe in A Messiah at all. Some don't believe in the soul changing power of the Holy Spirit. My faith in Christ Jesus has been the one absolute thing that has set me apart from others I've met traveling this same road. My hope is found in Jesus. My strength comes from knowing who I am... and WHOSE I am. The most hopeless people I've met all have one thing in common... not one of them professes to be a Christian. In fact, they all, without exception, have told me plainly that they do not believe in God and do not follow Jesus.

Just so ya know.. this is an ongoing struggle. This weekend, I failed at all of these, even though I KNOW what will make me feel better! I think I really was just super tired (Iz and the preacher were out of town last week and I didn't sleep well). I slept... a LOT... this weekend, but didn't feel particularly out of sorts. Just really really sleepy.

But I slept. I didn't do any of the things that I listed here. I'm not sure that I didn't just need the rest. I feel great today!

Much love and big hugs!

K

Monday Motivation

Oh my GOODNESS!

What a fabulous promise!

So many times we feel like we have to fight so HARD for something when GOD is ready to fight the battle for us!

What battle do you need to let go of? What area of your life are you struggling against in vain? Perhaps you need to take a breath and see what God will do.

Have a great week!
K

Sunday Scripture : Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked advance against me
    to devour[a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

13 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

This spoke volumes to me this morning.

Whatever stage of a valley you are in, allow these verses to soothe your soul. You are not alone. The Lord of all Creation is good and loving. He will rescue you, restore you, and redeem you. Seek His face and wait for Him.