Worst thing is, I don't see any way out of this.
"Suck it up, you are fine, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Put those bad feelings in a box and forget about them. Don't be such a baby about this. Get a grip and Move on."
(I suppose that would be Controller, Striver, Perfectionist and Self Critic speaking)
I'm just not so sure that all my "junk" will stay buried now. I am not in control of my feelings. I can't control my thoughts or emotions. Everything is different. Everything is a jumbled, mixed up, hot stinkin mess. I feel very weak and vulnerable. I feel so .... fragile. And I HATE it.
I'm not on board with all this yet, but I have hope. I can see where it makes sense. Just not sure what will happen if I loosen the vice grip I have on my feelings and emotions. That is a frightening thought.
As of October 17, I'm still here, doing a bit better, having a few more good days now than I was having even just a month ago. Still have some very rough days, but I am hopeful.