Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Wednesday Weigh-In: My Battle with Food, Exercise, and Body Image

I didn’t go to Weight Watchers last night. Things are a bit crazy at my house right now.

Brian’s surgery added to the normal chaos at the Williams home is just a bit much. Anyway, Izzy was terribly sweet and volunteered to cook dinner so I stayed home and helped her.

I’m kinda bummed. I’m not sure that it has much to do with my weight loss (or lack thereof). It’s like I just can’t get settled. I feel uneasy, unsettled, un-okay.

It will pass. Always does. Right now I just don’t feel “right.”

So anyway, I didn’t lose any weight this week...which stinks SO badly.

I have to take eating seriously. I think I still believe that I can eat what I want “just this once” and look the way I dream about looking. If “Just this once” was only ONCE, it would be FINE, but I have a “just this once” moment several times a day.

Wow, how much does THAT sound like my spiritual life?!?!?!

More times than I can mention, I have had “Just this once” moments in all sorts of areas. Just this one lie, just this one half-truth, just this one compromise, missing my quiet time “just this once” or not obeying God’s prompting to reach out to someone who is hurting… my spiritual life is crippled by my half-commitment and compromise. AND just like “Just this once” results in a less than desirable weight watcher journey, my spiritual life isn’t want I want it to be if I “cheat” on the program.

I’ve got to get it together. I do know that much!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also know that life is hard. Things come up that break ya down. Things happen that make dieting hard…and things happen that make life hard.

So I’ve got to get it together. I know that these “just this once” moments, undermine my goals. Separately, they aren’t anything that would catch my attention. A hand full of chips here, skipping Quiet time there, not getting enough sleep, letting the laundry pile up, not exercising… nut together it all adds up to a big messy me.

That’s all I have for this week. More of the same I guess. One day I’m going to be one of those people who is completely in control of my cravings and desires. One day I am going to be that girl who says “I only drink water”; “I don’t like Chocolate”; “I HAVE to keep my house clean” and “I love the gym.” I’m not there yet, and I don’t expect to be there next Wednesday, but MAYBE I can stop believing the “Just this once won’t hurt” lie and body (and my life) will start looking more like I want it to.

 Til next week!

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