November 26, 2021
That's the plan anyway.
I'm going to do SOMETHING every day that makes me a better person. No- that's not exactly right. I'm going to do something every day that reflects who I want to be. No... that's not quite it either.
Hmmmm
See, here's the thing - I want to do ALL the things.
HA! I really do! I want to paint and sew and quilt and play piano and crochet beautiful afghans and have a beautiful flower garden (so I can have and give fresh flowers) and have a fabulous veggie garden (so I can have and give veggies). I want to be thin and beautiful and fun and kind and empathetic and dependable. I want to have a neat and tidy home and yard. I want to be a wonderful cook and make fabulous desserts. I want to be a valuable asset to the company I work for. I want to serve my community. I want to be a source of encouragement for the people who cross my path. I want to offer hope. I want to be a good wife and mom and Nan to my people. I want to be a loving leader in my church. I want to be filled with peace and joy. I want my smile to be genuine and contagious and I want to smile often. I want to be a good steward of the money, time, talents, gifts, and things God has given me.
I want to use the rest of the time God gives me to make a difference in the lives of the people He has put in my life.
Somehow I drifted into thinking that this can only be accomplished through doing "big" things... Like feeding people on Thanksgiving or working with the homeless community, etc. I somehow lost sight of the many little ways people impact my life each day. Many times, it's been the little acts of kindness that have most impacted my life.
I want to be full so that I have plenty to give to others.
I've realized that I can only be a positive impact on the lives of others if I am "happy" myself. I don't think that I can be "happy" all the time. I'm thinking more that I need to do things that bring ME joy alongside doing things that benefit others. This is where painting, crochet, piano, sewing, baking, etc. come into play. These things do make me happy. I no longer think it's selfish to do the things that make me happy - I just need to find balance so that I don't neglect the things that I need to do for others.
So - That's the plan for this last year of my 40s. I'm going to intentionally do some little something everyday that either fills me up or fills others up.
Annnnnd - so that I hold myself accountable, I am going to record this year here. Maybe I'll post it all the night before my 50th birthday. This is in no way an attempt to be a bragger. I am on the struggle bus and I need some structure so that I can get myself together. I'm also attempting to complete Project 365 so that I have the year in pictures. My prayer is that writing will keep me balanced and focused and that I will be in a MUCH better place a year from now than I was when I sat down at the keyboard a few days ago.
Big hugs-
K
Today's Little Something:
Got caught up at work so that I can go in Monday without so much pressure.
Gave myself a pedicure.
Today's Picture:
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