I've spent a lot of time writing about my struggles and how God has walked me thru them. I want to be transparent, to let other people who struggle know that they aren't alone, and to offer hope to those who need it. My kids sometimes comment on my life and I am always amazed at their perspective. They see me as strong, as a fighter...when in reality I have spent most of their lives feeling very much afraid of what my future (and their future by default) holds.
Recently, I shared my thoughts on being okay. Specifically, it's okay to be okay. For some reason, it seems easier to share struggles. For some reason, it feels "wrong" to celebrate. Thing is, God gives us MUCH to celebrate. I don't want to only share my struggles. I want to learn how to share my celebratory moments as well as those that make my heart heavy. God's goodness is not confined to helping us through life's hardships. Sometimes He is just GOOD. I wonder if it's Satan that keeps us quiet about God's Goodness.
Anyway, this past week God has just been GOOD to me and I want to share.
Thanksgiving was Thursday. We spent most of the day with Chad and Diane. Chad and Diane were in our first youth group. My Brian has loved them all his life. When he was very small, he wanted to marry Diane. When Chad proposed to Diane, Brian reluctantly told him "Well, I guess you can marry her." Now Chad and Diane have been married almost 14 years. We celebrated the births of both their children. Now Myles, their son, follows my Brian around much like Brian followed Chad all those years ago. Things have come full circle. It makes my heart happy to have such a rich history with these "kids."
On Thursday, Brian proposed to our sweet Tayler at Chad and Diane's. I could not have picked a better match for my son if I'd been given the chance. Tayler is perfect for him.
Saturday was my birthday. My sweet Izzy spent the entire day with me. Tayler came by to see me. Brian had to go back to New Orleans, but spent the morning with me before he left. Almost all the high school and Jr high girls from church texted me to wish me a happy birthday and to tell me what it means to have me in their lives. There are NO words to express how this filled my heart. I LOVE these girls... and they know I love them. That means so much to me.
Sunday, My step dad was baptized. If you have followed my blog or if you know me, you know my parents divorced when I was a baby. I have no memory of my parents not being married to my step parents. I feel as though I have 4 parents, not parents and step parents, but to keep the confusion to a minimum, I do refer to my step parents as such. To know that my step dad loves Jesus and will be in heaven with us for eternity is the answer to a lifetime of prayer. This news was almost more than my heart could stand.
This past week, God was just GOOD to me. He was kind. He gave me the most perfect gifts. He overwhelmed me. I am beyond thankful.
So much of the time, I have wondered if it even matters that I am here taking up space on this planet. I wonder if the people I love know I love them. I wonder if anyone notices the difference Jesus has made in my life. This past week, God showed me what HE has been doing in and through me all this time and oh my GOODNESS! I can barely stand it!
So, yes, I am CELEBRATING! I am EXCITED! I am HAPPY!!! Deep down in my soul... I am absolutely FILLED with JOY!
It does not escape me that I almost didn't make it to see today. I am grateful beyond anything I can express that God did not allow me to starve myself when I was a young woman, that He did not allow my cancer to be terminal, that He did not allow my botched gall bladder surgery to end with Sepsis or worse, and that He did not allow me to take my life 18 months ago....because today I am filled to overflowing with sheer Joy.
This reminds me that so often we give up too soon. We put our own limits on God's timing and in doing so, we miss the blessing of seeing His plan come together.
Just my thoughts
K
Recently, I shared my thoughts on being okay. Specifically, it's okay to be okay. For some reason, it seems easier to share struggles. For some reason, it feels "wrong" to celebrate. Thing is, God gives us MUCH to celebrate. I don't want to only share my struggles. I want to learn how to share my celebratory moments as well as those that make my heart heavy. God's goodness is not confined to helping us through life's hardships. Sometimes He is just GOOD. I wonder if it's Satan that keeps us quiet about God's Goodness.
Anyway, this past week God has just been GOOD to me and I want to share.
Thanksgiving was Thursday. We spent most of the day with Chad and Diane. Chad and Diane were in our first youth group. My Brian has loved them all his life. When he was very small, he wanted to marry Diane. When Chad proposed to Diane, Brian reluctantly told him "Well, I guess you can marry her." Now Chad and Diane have been married almost 14 years. We celebrated the births of both their children. Now Myles, their son, follows my Brian around much like Brian followed Chad all those years ago. Things have come full circle. It makes my heart happy to have such a rich history with these "kids."
On Thursday, Brian proposed to our sweet Tayler at Chad and Diane's. I could not have picked a better match for my son if I'd been given the chance. Tayler is perfect for him.
Saturday was my birthday. My sweet Izzy spent the entire day with me. Tayler came by to see me. Brian had to go back to New Orleans, but spent the morning with me before he left. Almost all the high school and Jr high girls from church texted me to wish me a happy birthday and to tell me what it means to have me in their lives. There are NO words to express how this filled my heart. I LOVE these girls... and they know I love them. That means so much to me.
Sunday, My step dad was baptized. If you have followed my blog or if you know me, you know my parents divorced when I was a baby. I have no memory of my parents not being married to my step parents. I feel as though I have 4 parents, not parents and step parents, but to keep the confusion to a minimum, I do refer to my step parents as such. To know that my step dad loves Jesus and will be in heaven with us for eternity is the answer to a lifetime of prayer. This news was almost more than my heart could stand.
This past week, God was just GOOD to me. He was kind. He gave me the most perfect gifts. He overwhelmed me. I am beyond thankful.
So much of the time, I have wondered if it even matters that I am here taking up space on this planet. I wonder if the people I love know I love them. I wonder if anyone notices the difference Jesus has made in my life. This past week, God showed me what HE has been doing in and through me all this time and oh my GOODNESS! I can barely stand it!
So, yes, I am CELEBRATING! I am EXCITED! I am HAPPY!!! Deep down in my soul... I am absolutely FILLED with JOY!
It does not escape me that I almost didn't make it to see today. I am grateful beyond anything I can express that God did not allow me to starve myself when I was a young woman, that He did not allow my cancer to be terminal, that He did not allow my botched gall bladder surgery to end with Sepsis or worse, and that He did not allow me to take my life 18 months ago....because today I am filled to overflowing with sheer Joy.
This reminds me that so often we give up too soon. We put our own limits on God's timing and in doing so, we miss the blessing of seeing His plan come together.
Just my thoughts
K
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