My last attempt to get in shape was interrupted when I tried to commit suicide. I've let too much time pass sitting on my couch wishing I was in better shape. If I am totally honest, I want my 20 year old body back (don't we all?) but I do understand that is totally unrealistic. Totally unrealistic.
My personality is somewhat all or nothing. On or off. In or out. I'm not much for middle of the road or half way. This translated into me setting goals like "Completely give up all processed foods" and "go to the gym twice a day every day" and "lose 100 pounds by summer" (which is in 4 months BTW). Again...unrealistic.
You may say, "Just go to the gym and eat healthy," and to that I would reply, "that sounds like a wonderful idea," but honestly, that is not going to work for me. I mean, it would I'm sure, but my brain doesn't work that way. I need a plan. I need goals. I need a timeline to reach those goals. That's the only way I know how to determine whether or not I'm "succeeding."
I am ready to try this again. I am going to TRY to be gentle with myself. Baby steps. Better food choices. Eating out less. Cooking more. Moving around more. getting ample sleep.
Lifestyle changes.
I'm not going to (or at least I'm going to TRY not to) worry so much about weight and size and really focus on making changes. I hope I can focus on the changes and simply let the lifestyle changes do what ever they are going to do to change my body. I'm only going to measure and weigh once a month. I need to lose 8.4 pounds a month to reach my ideal weight in 12 months.
Here's where I'm starting....
Date 2/9/2018
Actual Weight 250.4
Bust 48
Bicep 16
Forearm 12
Waist 50.4
Hips 53
Thigh 28
Calf 19.5
Hip/Waist Ratio 0.95
Ugh that all makes me a little sick. But....it is what it is. I have to start somewhere.
Much love
K
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