One of the things we talked about was the simple fact that sometimes we don't wasn't to seek GOD's guidance because we REALLY don't want to hear what He has to say about what it is that we are wanting to do. I know that in my early years I definitely wanted God's promise of Salvation and was eager to attend Church on Sunday, but was not willing to allow God to guide my actions Monday - Saturday. I wanted to live my life my way and then give God some time on Sunday morning. We talked about that attitude last night and we all decided that that attitude simply does not work.
Jesus says in Mark that "Man cannot serve 2 masters. He will love one and despise the other". In that passage He is talking about loving money, but the principle is very much the same. You also cannot serve God and serve yourself. You gotta choose.
Another thing that we discussed was candidly thrown out as "We run to the phone instead of the throne". Oh! How true this is! I know that I am definitely guilty of this. I will shoot out an e-mail or (when I can talk) pick up the pone and ask my closest friends what THEY think I should do when I SHOULD be asking my CREATOR what HE would have me do!
We talked about "microwave faith". Many of us "confessed" that we are likely to first call a friend or pick up a book that someone has written about the problem we have rather than pick up the Bible and see what Scripture says. We want a quick fix, an easy answer....microwave results.
We also talked about the fact that, if we are honest, we don't always trust God. That sounds terrible, but if the shoe fits....
I came home late last night and then couldn't sleep. The things we talked about rang in my head. The main thing that haunted my thoughts was the discussion about "regurgitated" information. Information that someone else has processed and reworded and put into a book or Bible study or devotion.
This morning I realized something that made me pause. God has answered one of my prayers. (One that has nothing to do with Cancer.)
Calvin has an amazing hunger for God's Word. My sweet husband devours scripture. He reads his Bible with the same enthusiasm that I read Peretti, DeKker, Rivers, or Moore. I have, over the past year or so, asked God to give me that hunger- to place in me the desire to absorb His Word. I read my Bible and I look up scripture, but it is nothing like what I see in Calvin when he is reading his Bible. Calvin reads his Bible as though he were reading a love letter...I want that.
Today, God answered that prayer. I realized this morning that I am no longer satisfied with regurgitated Bible Study. I want more. I need more. I no longer want to know what God told someone else. I need to know what God wants to tell ME. I, for the first time in a long time, am hungry and thirsty for, not only God's presence, but His Word!