Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A new day

I am amazed and at the same time horrified at the number of women who feel betrayed by God. I have gotten 4 e-mails today from women telling me that they feel or have recently felt the same way I did yesterday! That is frightening!
I have learned (or remembered) that not being able to see what God is doing does not mean that HE isn’t doing anything.
I have learned (or remembered) that not understanding His purpose does not mean He does not have one.
I have learned (or remembered) that the validity of His plan is not dependant on my approval of it.
I have learned (or remembered) that God loves me and His heart aches for me and that He will hold me close to His chest so that I can listen to the gentle beating of His heart and the soothing sound of His breath until I am ready to move forward.
-that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is to crawl up in His lap, lay our head on His chest and just cry.
-that sometimes we have to love God and praise Him and Trust Him, not for what He is doing or for what we believe He is GOING to do, but for what He has already done. He died for me. He forgave my sins. He adopted me as his very own daughter. That is enough. He does not owe me anything else. I don’t even deserve what He has already done.
-that when we allow Satan to turn our focus inward we are unable to bask in the warmth of our Creator’s love. This is why we feel cold, empty, and alone.
- Allowing Satan to deceive me into thinking that God has also turned a deaf ear to my brokenness is worse than what I am going through. God has not left me, but I have to turn to Him and lean on Him and just trust Him. I find peace and comfort when I just fall into the arms of my Savior and simply rest in His embrace. No conditions. No expectations. No questions. Just rest. Trust that He has done enough. Trust that He knows what is best. Trust Him simply because of WHO HE is.

Today I met with 3 of the finest young Christian women I know. I have asked, and they have agreed, to help me out. This was not easy for me to do. The Women's ministry has been my "baby" and I am extremely protective of it. But I know God sent these women into my life and I know that they are trustworthy. I have not stepped out of the ministry, just out of the spotlight. I am not leaving the Women's ministry, just assuming a different role. That's okay. The more I think about it, I realize that, along with the tinge of sadness, there is also a sense of relief. Having them with me, on the Women's Ministry Team, will allow me the freedom to dream, plan, and prayerfully seek what God wants from this ministry. This is going to be a great change.

Also, not being totally responsible for every detail of the Women's ministry will allow me to grow personally and seek new ways to share Christ with others. I am warming to that idea.

What a difference a day makes!
K
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