Last week I shared "my story" up to the time I met and married Calvin. Today I'll pick up there.
Calvin and I married in 1997. In January of that same year, Calvin became the youth Pastor at our church. In 1999, we had our first child. In 2004, I changed careers, from hair dresser to banker. In 2005, we had our second child. All of this was very...normal. Just life, adjusting to marriage, adjusting to different stages of ministry, adjusting to parenthood. I enjoyed leading Ladies' Bible Study, teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, and leading Children's worship. God had changed me. I wanted to serve Him and lead others to a relationship with Him. My relationship with Christ changed everything about who I am and even in the early stages of my journey following Him, I wanted to share what He'd done in me.
In January of 2009, I started this blog. Initially, I just wanted somewhere to record my thoughts on ministry, being a pastor's wife, and what not. Life was rocking along just fine. God was growing me. He was showing me all the many ways He is active in my life and in the lives of those I love. He showed me time and time again that prayer is powerful and that He is acutely aware of the goings on in my life and in the lives of others.. I thought I had it all together, serving God and doing all the right stuff to show others how to live good, Christian lives.
The last week of January 2009, I was diagnosed with cancer. I recorded most of that journey here, so I won't go into detail, only to say that I was and am thankful that God drew me to himself years before this event. He grew me and revealed himself to me in so many ways up to this time that it was natural to lean into him when I started this journey. In April of 2009, I was officially "clear" of cancer and began the follow up monitoring. Slowly, my voice recovered and I began teaching, singing, and doing all the things I'd done before cancer put a bump in the road.
In the summer of 2011, I was diagnosed with cancer again. I recorded less of this journey here on the blog. I required radiation along with surgeries and I was not as positive going into the whole thing. I was upset, even angry, that God would allow this to happen again. Looking back, I see that it was necessary. Up to then, I put a limit on my trust. I'd trust God with something, but on my terms, within my time frame. This second bout with cancer pushed me beyond those limits. I truly had to give up all control and completely trust that He knew best... even if "best" was me permanently losing my voice. This was huge and took a long time to happen, but this second bout with cancer allowed me the opportunity to really see how God moves in the midst of seriously uncomfortable circumstances. It allowed me to see how God works through my hardship to bless others. The second time I had cancer, I learned to be available, open, and willing to share His love...even when I was hurting.
I thought that cancer would be my "battle." I thought that I would forever return to that point in time when God walked me through the cancer valley. I didn't realize that this was only preparing me for yet a deeper valley.
I'm not going to camp out here, only long enough to mention that I tried to end my life in the summer of 2017. I spent 18 months working my way out of that valley... by far the deepest and darkest valley I've ever known. I shared most of that journey here over the past 2 years.
Today, I see God's fingerprints all over my life. There are all sorts of little things that come to mind that I will write about later. Today I just want to say that as I look over my life, I see God everywhere. He prepared me for each of the valleys I've traveled through and He never left me. He allowed situations and circumstances that stretched my faith. I feel sure that He will continue to do this, as it brings me closer to Him.
It is natural for me to follow Him. It is natural for me to love Him. He saved me, in every sense on the word. He gave me life. He gave me purpose. I want others to know the love I have found in my Savior. I want others to know that there is a God and that He loves them.
Christmas is in a few days. What a perfect image to end today's post with. Mary and Joseph had a plan for their life together. God upset that plan and turned their lives upside down. Thank goodness he did! God provided the way to save the world through them.
I want my heart to be like Mary's. I want to willing serve Him however He chooses to use me.
“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38
Big Hugs
K
I mentioned before that I want to hear your story. That hasn't changed. You can share in the comments or via email. Thanks to those who have shared via email. I appreciate your trusting me with your stories. I won't share those who have not given me permission to do so. Thanks again!
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