If you've been visiting here for any length of time, you may have picked up on a few things. Primarily that I ramble... a lot. At one time I was apologetic for this. At one time I tried very hard to write..."right"... but ya know what? That's just not me. Sure, the grammar police have a field day with me. I absolutely use WAY too many run on sentences and sentence fragments. I use all CAPS and multiple "!!!!!!" and adverbs and adjectives flow freely from my fingertips. Honestly, today I make no apologies for any of this.
One of my precious friends said "I can hear you saying this... it's just like you talking to me," after reading something I wrote recently.
That made me happy. Really happy. Deep down in my soul where for so long everything was bruised and broken... it made me... happy, satisfied, content.
It just felt right. So very right.
Now, you may not care one bit what anyone thinks of what you do or say. You may have an over abundance of self confidence that catapults you to success upon success. You may scoff at those who attempt to criticize or critique you. If so... I am so proud for you. Good job. You go ahead... take the world by storm.
I envy you.
For me to write like I talk with no apologies is a huge accomplishment for me...'cause I am a total chicken. My heart has been battered for most my life by "what-ifs" and "should haves." For me to write as I have these past weeks, with no thought of "what if no one likes this??" is AMAZING!
I've worked very hard to overcome wanting to die. There is more involved in this than I could have imagined. I can honestly say that - for today at least- I am excited about life. I'm interested to see what the future holds. I see God opening doors and it makes my heart soar...for just a moment... before sheer panic takes over of course. LOL
Today I love life. Today I want to paint and crochet and reorganize my closets. Today I want to write and work in my flower beds. No, scratch the flower bed idea... it's still freakin hot out there.
So what's my tip for today?
BE YOU. Just you. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else. God made you to be YOU. Embrace that person. Embrace and cultivate the things that make you... you. Stop thinking "if only" and "what if" and "should have" and start claiming your special brand of crazy. You are amazing in your own special way. You have a purpose and a place in this world created especially for you to fill.
So my tip for today is to write, or paint, or draw, or clean your house for the 10th time this week. Organize your clothes by color or season or material... or toss them all on a chair. Take a dance class, do MMA, train for Tough Mudder or Warrior Dash. Get your black belt, learn to drive a dump truck. Bake a cake, cook dinner, bake cookies, do your nails, wear red lipstick...or no make up at all. What ever it is that makes you... you... embrace it. Love it.
One of my most interesting and amazing friends is CONSTANTLY telling me to "Live life"
and to "Love life" and tells me on a regular basis "Kris...You be you."
I think I finally get it. Know what? It FEELS good... REALLY good.
It is freeing, to just...be me.
This may not mean anything at all to some of you... but there are others with whom this resonates... deep in your soul you FEEL what I write. You get the struggle... because it's your struggle too. It is my prayer and hope that you will be brave. Keep fighting. Don't give up. Deal with your past. Forgive wrongs. FIND yourself. Figure out what makes you... you... and embrace all that...whatever it is! I want this for you... I want it for me! I want us to be brave and strong and... dare I say it...
HAPPY.
Live life.
Love life.
You be YOU.
I'll be me...
K
No comments:
Post a Comment