UGH! It cannot be time for the 4 week update!!!! I need a pause button for life. I need everything to stop...except for me... for about, oh... 4 weeks so that I can get caught up! LOL! I'm shaking my head. I am so disappointed in myself!
I am not going to make excuses. I'm really not. I know that we all do what we deem important. I have a friend who just replaced a retaining wall for goodness sake! You'd think I could manage to eat right and exercise.
(sigh)
It's hard. Life DOESN'T have a pause button and so often I feel like I am the kid chasing the school bus... papers falling out of my backpack, trying to get my jacket on, while I hop/skip/run with my shoes still untied. Oh.. and my hair is waded up in a messy bun and i have on no make up. Let that image settle on ya. Yep... that's me.
THAT'S why I started this stupid challenge in the first place! I do see where I need improvement. I am not in denial about that. I have not suddenly realized that I am more "okay" than I thought when I started this. No, quite the opposite... I am fully aware that I am a hot mess.
I tell myself that this keeps me humble. I TELL myself that this helps me have a "No judgement here" attitude.
That being said, there ARE some good things happening so far as the challenge goes:
- I am on track with my Bible reading.
- I'm not eating out by myself - I don't run thru the drive thru and I don't go out for lunch. The only times I eat out are when I'm with the fam. I realize this still needs work.
- I tossed THREE trash bags of all sorts of junk away just yesterday! "Tossing things in the trash" is going great.
- I'm drinking water.... not ONLY water...I'm not gonna lie...but I am drinking significantly MORE water than I would normally drink.
- I'm leaving earlier than I think I need to when I have somewhere to be. I may not always leave 10 min earlier, but I have not been late in a while.
It is easy to beat myself up over this. Really. It is SO easy. It is also easy to make excuses. I'm not doing either. I'm learning a LOT about myself through this. Every week, I'm discovering something that just doesn't work for me. Every week I am more aware of who I am... who I really am... and how that compares with who I want to be. Oddly, I am learning that I like who I am now. I'm far from perfect; I have lots that could be improved...but overall... I really like me.
So, the plan for next week.... Honestly, I don't know. I have a paint class, a bridal shower, 2 weddings, and a craft fair looming in the not-so-distant distance and the transmission went out on my vehicle Sunday night. So honestly... I'm a bit stressed. It's hard for me to focus on all this other stuff with these things pressing on me and screaming for my immediate attention.
I'm being a bit more gentle with myself these days.
Life puts enough pressure on me without me adding extra.
Not giving up...
72 Days to go!
K
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