Thursday's thoughts on....2018 so far

Several things happened that really kick started the year for me.

I learned a LOT in therapy the end of 2017. I accepted a LOT of things as truth and these things absolutely freed me in ways I cannot put into words. Things like:

• I am not responsible for other's actions. They are individuals and are responsible for their own decisions, actions, and reactions.
• I am not required to sacrifice my well being to make things "okay" for others
• I am not required to put myself in situations that cause me to be uncomfortable or upset in order to make sure that others are not uncomfortable or upset 
• I don't have to sacrifice what I need in order for others to have what they want

• "I don't have to set myself on fire to keep others warm"
  is a little quote that sums all of this up nicely

We got my meds regulated. I know that this helped tremendously.

I learned a bit more about Spiritual Warfare. Even though my life verse (and the theme of this blog) is Ephesians 6:10-20, I am prone to underestimate the lengths that Satan will go to in order to steal, kill, and destroy.  He often catches my by surprise and he always knows where I'm weak.

I started listening to a pastor (Derek Prince) who clearly describes Spiritual Warfare, the Devil's schemes, and the methods he uses to deceive and destroy us. It opened my eyes to many areas where I have been attacked.

For example, I hadn't thought of the issues I have with my weight, my constant thoughts about food, and my propensity to eat until I am miserably full as being the manifestation of a spirit of gluttony. Likewise, I had not considered my inability to get things done, to keep the laundry caught up, the floors clean, and the house neat and tidy to be a spirit of laziness. Furthermore, I only vaguely attributed my tendency to be depressed, overwhelmed, anxious, compulsive, and obsessive to spiritual attack, even though I know that these things OBVIOUSLY are not from God. 

A few specific things that this pastor said caught my attention in a major way. He said that there are some spirits who are stronger (and therefore harder to get rid of) than others. He also said that you can't get rid of a spirit if you don't really believe that it is a spirit that is causing your problems. Not only that, he said that God will not deliver you from your friends. You will not be delivered from the spirits you love and entertain.

My prayer is to hate what the Lord hates and love what the Lord loves, because I am painfully aware that I do love some of my sin. (Satan doesn't tempt us with things we don't enjoy) 

I decided to put this all to the test. I picked two things that are relatively weak on the spiritual scale. (I mean, everything is relative and I'm also dealing with seriously powerful spirits like suicide, death, and depression.) I picked gluttony and laziness.

First, I imagined of all the many ways being overweight and being lazy cause me pain, anxiety, and unrest. I thought about the things they have stolen from me (time with my family, cute clothes, self confidence, having friends drop by for a visit, being able to physically do what I want, etc).

Then I imagined what I would life might look like for me without these in my life. Fully convinced that these are indeed spirits and not just part of who I am, I simply told them to leave. I called them by name: "Gluttony, there is no place for you here. In the name of Jesus, I am telling you to leave me." Same for laziness.

This was several weeks ago. I didn't think much of it afterward. 

I realized this week that my house is clean, neat, and tidy. My laundry is caught up, I have dinner prepared for the entire week, my clothes are set aside and ironed for the week, and I have not been late to work this year.  Not only that, I rarely if ever think about food. I eat when I need to eat and that's about the extent of it. I eat good things, things I like, and don't feel guilty about it. I usually bring leftovers for lunch. 

I am amazed. There is no other explanation that I will accept other than God did deliver me from the spirits of laziness and gluttony.

Much love and big hugs!

K