Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tonight we had our Good Friday Service at Pearson. The Choir lead worship, Calvin gave a short sermon, and we had the Lord's Supper.
I have, over the past few years, found it increasingly difficult to watch portrayals of my Lord's crucifixion. Tonight it was almost unbearable. To think that Jesus would willingly subject Himself to such torture is more than I will ever be able to understand. To know that He did it for me is overwhelming. I am so underserving. I am so ungrateful of His sacrifice. He knew i would be, and He did it anyway. He knew that it would take me a lifetime to learn to live for Him, but He sacrificed himself anyway. He knew that I would make terrible choices and that I would be a lousy representation of his name.....but He allows me to bear His name all the same. Christian....Little Christ.... Daughter of the Most HIgh God.
Tonight as the choir sang and the video of the Crucifixion played, I was shaken to the core.The Lord of all creation,,,,maker of Heaven and earth....God of ALL... chose to die for me. FOR ME.
Calvin asked what did Jesus want the 12 to rember when He told them to "Do this in Rememberance of Me" at the Last Supper....for they had not yet experienced the Cross and Resurection.
"Remember Me"... easier to do in church on Good Friday than it is in the line at Wal Mart...or when we have a TERRIBLE waitress at a restaurant...or when my kids are making me crazy...or when my dear sweet hubby is srtomping on my very last nerve....or when I am beating my head against the wall because another woman in my life just will not accept the freedom Christ offers.......
It is easy to Remember Christ on Good Friday in church.....or late at night when the family is asleep and the only sound is the tap tapping of my keyboard.
Oh Lord! I do remember you! i remeber the night we first met. Lying on the front pew while Mama lead choir practice....What was the name of that song? The Majesty and Glory of Your name? "When I gaze into the night sky and see the work of your fingers......who is man that You are mindful of him?" Oh Lord! I do remember! I remember how it felt in my oh so young heart to wonder "Could the same God who put the stars in place REALLY know ME? And if He knows me, could it be true that He CARES about me?" I remember the smell in Brother Shauf's office and the calming sound of his voice as he explained Salvation to me and the gentle touch of his hand as he wiped my tears.
Unfortunately, i also remember what it was like to be far from you....or was I? Even in my most rebellious moments, I belive you were nearby, never letting me slip completely from your hand.
I remember sitting in Tom's office and realizing for the first time the possibility that You not only COULD still love me, but that You DID still love me. Oh Father! I remember! I remember what it felt like to return to you!
Thank you. A million times thank you. Thank you for loving me so much that you sacrificed your life in order that I could have Salvation. Thank you for never letting go of me, even when I thought I wanted you to.
Lord, thank you for allowing me the priviledge of serving you. Thank you for entrusting Calvin, Brian, and Izzy to me. Help me Lord to show YOUR love to them. Help me to be sensitive to Calvin's needs and to care for him so that he can care for your church.
Thank you Lord Jesus for the cross. Thank you for taking my place and for dying for my sin.
I do Remember.....