Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Home again

WOW! 4 hours from the time we left the house to the time we got back home!
Surgery went GREAT today!
I feel fine aside from a whopper of a sore throat! I mean, I feel totally normal. No side effects from the anesthesia at all! Maybe this really is going to be the surgery that ends it all! At any rate, this is the best I have felt post surgery.
Dr S. told Calvin that the cord that has the cancer looks normal. Now, only the pathology will tell us for sure, but there does not appear to be any new growth, at least not to the naked eye. I can already tell a difference in the way my throat feels now that the new growth is gone! And for those that were asking about my breathing, yes, it is easier to breathe now.
I am a bit drowsy and rarely can justify taking a nap, so I am going to take one now.
Thank you all so much for your constant prayers and well wishes! It is so comforting to know that there are others going to God on my behalf!
If indeed we get a clear pathology report, then I will not have to have surgery for at least 12 weeks. That surgery will just be a biopsy to make sure that the cancer has not returned.
Whether or not this is the end of this stage of my journey, I am still completely surrendered to Christ. I know that He has brought me through this, the hardest time in my life to date. The past 7 months have been surreal. The past 7 months have been like nothing I can even begin to describe. A precious friend talked to me the other night about the "dark night of the soul". That truly describes some of my days and nights over these past few months. Some days, I am totally okay with all of this...a warrior in the battle. Other days I feel like a helpless prisoner of war. Some days I have felt completely defeated spiritually and that is the absolute worse feeling I have ever known.
As we enter Easter Weekend, I am again reminded that God has done everything that He needed to do already. He gave me the only thing I truly need when He died on the cross and rose again, defeating death once and for all. When i asked Hm to be my Savior, He sealed my spot in Heaven. This is all I will ever truly need. He owes me nothing.
So, whether the pathology comes back good or bad, I am okay. My soul is secure. My Father loves me.