Out with the old...In with the New

YIKES!
I totally forgot to link to my Devo at Internet Café last week!
Please visit me there!!!!!!

January is filled to overflowing with the promise of a fresh start, and for years I made resolutions that I believed would help me become the person I wanted to be. Problem is, the things we resolve to remove from (or add to) our lives on January 1^st are just symptoms of the things that truly hold us captive and steal our joy. As long as we only address the symptoms, we will be in the same worn out, weighed down, weary place this time next year.

 

So, before January slips into February and the hope of the New Year is a distant memory, let’s look at the heart-issues that steal our joy and peace. The list is made up of  things like guilt, regret, anxiety, bitterness, rage, hopelessness, shame, longing, and all manner of hurt.

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My Word and Verse for 2016

Earlier this month, my friend Leah Adams wrote about her Word for 2016. I have claimed a verse for the year before, but never a word. I love the idea and have spent the past several days consumed with asking God to give me my own word for 2016.

Ironically, the word I believe He has given me is “Balance”.  I blew this off for several days, thinking that it wasn’t NEARLY profound enough. Not even remotely spiritual enough. So I kept searching and asking and still got “Balance”.  Once I stopped looking for something else to cling to, I realized that this really does make absolute perfect sense.

Several years ago a doctor diagnosed me with OCD and I laughed…because I am a TERRIBLE house keeper. After talking with him, I realized that there is much more to OCD than keeping a clean house or washing your hands 100 times a day. Actually my lack of house cleaning is something that evolved as I lost control over what goes on in my home. I can’t keep things the way they “should” be, so I just gave up. (That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it) Obviously, I am only mildly OCD (if I really even am at all) and I am very thankful for that. While there are some things in my life that “must” be a certain way, I really just obsess over things. When my brain latches onto something, it is all I can think about until I somehow resolve it. Sadly, most everything else is neglected until I get to the end of whatever it is that I am obsessing about…and once I resolve it, I’m done. THIS is what I believe God desires for me to balance out.

So, even though I originally thought it was silly, “Balance” is a great word for me to claim in 2016.

Now, for my verse, I am teetering between Colossians 3:17, Matthew 6:33, and Luke 12:34. All deal with priorities and I’m not sure which is pressing on me more.

Going to pray about it for a while longer.

 

If you have a verse/word for 2016, I'd love to hear about it!

Life Gets a Bit Sticky Sometimes

 I can’t believe it has been over a month since I’ve written anything here.

Honestly, everything is rocking along just fine. (sigh) I just don’t know what to write.

 

Thing is, I have had topics banging around in my head and in my heart this past month.  I just can’t get them into print.  My heart is too tangled up in them.

Here’s the thing, God’s been growing me. Thankfully, He didn’t use a new cancer diagnosis to get my attention this time. He just nudged me to trust Him a little more…and a little more…and a little more. Then He nudged me to trust Him a little more.

He nudged me to trust Him more with our finances. I did and He did not immediately pay off my mortgage. No debt collectors called to tell me that my Medical bills had been paid in full. Paycheck by paycheck, I tried to make better choices concerning our finances. Baby Steps. One better decision at a time. After almost a year of this, peace has replaced the anxiety that once surrounded any thoughts of our finances.

 

He nudged me to give up leading the Ladies Ministry at our church.  Not only that, but to also entrust it to another. Looking back, God dealt with me on several levels here. First, I love the ministry that we started several years ago. I poured my soul into it and truly loved everything about it. There was a falling out among the ministry team (it happens, we are all human after all) and that left a tinge of sorrow where pure joy had once been.  My second bout with cancer forced me to step away from the ministry completely and, to be honest I just never quite felt the same way about it. When I was approached about passing the leadership role to someone else, I only struggled slightly. God pressed on my heart that this ministry isn’t “mine”, but that He would not force me to let it go. I needed to choose for myself whether or not to close that door.

 

Earlier this year I joined Internet Café Devotions. Moving beyond my little blog brought me tremendous joy, and it still makes me smile to see my words somewhere else. God being God knew all the other ways that the Café would challenge me and, in His sovereignty, waited until I was ready before connecting me to the ladies there. While writing with them has been wonderful, connecting with them has been the biggest blessing I’ve received in a very long time. The ladies I’ve “gotten to know” through email and phone calls have been a breath of fresh air. I don’t know how to explain it other than to say that I have found in them the like-minded-ness  and understanding that I’ve longed for. They’ve showed me how to appreciate the unique gifts God has given me. They’ve encouraged me to see the value in the heart God has given me for the women He has placed in my path. Their spiritual maturity is refreshing and inspiring to me. They challenge me to be…more of who God made me to be.

God used everything I’ve mentioned to bring me to where I am now. He has helped me to see that the gifts and talents He has given me are best used one on one. I thought that I needed to do “big” things in order to make a difference. He has shown me the importance of investing in the women He has placed in my life. I am overwhelmed at the need for an encouraging word or offered prayer and am so thankful that God created me in such a way that I am naturally driven to meet those needs. I am so thankful that He created me in such a way that I see Him working in most all circumstances. I am so thankful that He created me with the discernment to see Satan’s schemes. I am so thankful that He gave me a powerful testimony to share.

So, back to my original thought…Life gets Sticky Sometimes… investing in people can get sticky. I only have a few people in my life who I consider my “inner circle” and I love them fiercely. It makes me angry to see Satan working in their lives. It makes me angry to see them in bondage to sin or to Satan’s lies. It breaks my heart to see them hurting. It brings me tremendous joy to see them victorious. My heart swells with unfathomable happiness and pride when their lives reflect Spiritual growth. These are the things that have been consuming me lately.  God is working in the lives of the people I love most and I can’t always write about that because…well, it can get sticky.

So there we go.  A month’s worth of words in one sitting.

I will try not to go so long next time!