Let me see if I can paint a picture of what me dealing with sin often looks like....
When I was a kid, there were times when I wasn't very excited about cleaning my room. (shocker) SOMETIMES I might possibly have tossed all my stuff in the closet, shut the door, and called it done. Every thing looked fine... until Mom opened the closet...
As an adult, I rarely stuff actual things into an actual closet, BUT when prompted to get some sin out of my life, I am prone try to get by just making a few changes to my behavior without really giving the actual area of my heart controlled by the sin over to God. I might even clean everything up so well that it looks absolutely lovely on brief inspection, but if you dig beneath the surface.. the mess is still there.
That MESS steals my joy.
This very thing is why I talk to my Sunday School class often about the Holy Spirit working in us to change our "want to." I don't want to just change my behavior (hide my mess) so that I look like a more mature mature Christian. I want my "want to" to change so that what I truly want lines up with God's Word. I want the desires of my heart to match His. I want to love the things He loves and hate the things He hates.
It feels something like this.....
I know I should eat carrots because they are good for me, but what I WANT is chocolate Ice Cream. I'll eat the carrots (because I should), but unless what I WANT changes, I am going to end up leaned against the freezer at midnight (so no one catches me) eating the ice cream out of the carton...OR I will continue to eat the carrots because I'm sacrificing, denying myself, being a martyr... and be generally grumpy and openly mad at less health conscious people who have the audacity to enjoy ice cream.
In contrast, if what I WANT changes from "I want what tastes good" to "I want what is good for my body" then not only can I enjoy the carrots, but I will have compassion those who have yet to discover the benefits of healthy eating and are in bondage to their poor food choices.
I want God to create a CLEAN heart within me so that I gladly give him my idols and gladly turn from my sin, knowing that the JOY of being closer to HIM is better than any brief happiness Satan tempts me with. Not only that, but I want Him to fill me with love and compassion for those who have not experienced the freedom, joy, and peace that comes with following wholeheartedly after Christ.
Just my thoughts,
K
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