Several things happen when depression sucks me in... one is that I can't write. I am thankful for those of you who noticed and reached out to let me know that you noticed, and, more importantly, that you understood. This "writer's paralysis" is an outward sign of an inward struggle.
Struggle?
Is that the right word? Well, it'll have to do. That's all I've got.
THANKFULLY, the darkness is lifting a bit and yesterday and today have been better days.
Now that I am not suffocating under the weight of a depressive episode, I'm reminded that I must CHOOSE joy. EMBRACE peace. Reject negativity and judgmental attitudes, gossip and pessimism. Welcome love and laughter and hugs. Just as I remind those struggling with any other illness to seek out the positive, I must remind myself to do the same. Some days that's easier said than done. I think that the key is to make "Choosing Joy" the norm, not the exception.
I want it to be my habit to look for the positive, to choose Joy, to pursue peace, to SEARCH for light and to LOOK for the good in...whatever. I HOPE that this will help me ward off the next depressive episode, but if not, maybe it will help me to not slip so deep into that abyss.
I don't know where you are in all this. Maybe you think Depression is "all in your head" and that those of us who are depressed should just "get over it." (I promise we all wish it were that easy) Maybe you are slowly slipping into the abyss of the valley of depression. Maybe you have been in the valley for so long that you forgot what the sunlight feels like on your skin. Maybe you are on the other side of that dark valley and are celebrating being in the light.
Where ever you are in this, please be gentle. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. Be kind and encouraging. SEARCH for light. Look for the good. Most of all, CHOOSE Joy.
I don't know how to tell you to accomplish this, but I know what it looks like for me....
The scripture that comes to mind is found at the end of Nehemiah 8:10, "the Joy of the Lord is my strength." There are ALWAYS going to be things about me and my life that I wish were different. There are things that make me angry, sad, or frustrated. It's not the "joy of a perfect life, perfect kids, perfect job, perfect friendships, or perfect husband" that give me strength.... it's the Joy of the LORD...
I choose Joy when I choose to be grateful for and focused on what God has given me rather than resentful for and focused on what I believe I am lacking.
I choose Joy when I and grateful for and focused on eternity, reminding myself that my reward is eternity in heaven, not peace and happiness on earth.
I choose Joy when I focus on who God is rather than on what I think He should do for me.
I choose Joy when I focus my love and attention on serving and being a blessing to others rather than grumbling about how "I have to do everything around here." (every parent in the room says 'Amen')
I choose joy when seek to serve Christ and focus on the many opportunities He gives me each day to share His love with those who need it.
I understand that this doesn't mesh well with our society's dogma of "look out for number 1" and it doesn't really fall in line with the whole culture of protesting and screaming and what not that gets so much media coverage.
Even so, choosing Joy is a CHOICE I make. It is a choice I plan to make more consistently. I choose to see the good in people. I choose to search for light. I choose to see beauty. I choose to love. I choose to forgive. I choose to serve. I choose to focus on God's goodness and on how He can work in and thru me.
And when the darkness comes, I choose to fight against it. I wait it out, knowing that it WILL pass and that what's on the other side of this valley is worth waiting for.
Just my thoughts
K
No comments:
Post a Comment