I believe that God is good.
I believe that the bad in this world is Satan's fault. I do believe that God could fix everything (He promises that one day He will) and no, I'm not sure why He doesn't. I do believe that if there was no bad, I would not realize my need for Christ; I would not hope for heaven; I would have no need for God.
That make sense?
Just as cold is the measured absence of heat, evil is the absence of good.
I am reminded daily of my need for Christ and my hope for Heaven becomes more tangible as I see the effects of evil in the world around me.
I am thankful beyond words that God saw fit to restore me. There have been several spans of time in my life when I thought I was broken beyond repair. I am thankful that God does not see things the way I do.
While I would not choose the paths I have traveled if given the opportunity to revisit the past, I am thankful for what God did in me through the valleys in life. Please note that my thankfulness is for what God has done, not for the choices (when there were choices) that lead me to the valleys.
Too many times I think we make light of poor choices that land us in the valley because God, in his mercy, love, and grace, DOES work all things together for good. This is true in my life. God has used the darkest times in my life to draw me closer to himself, to shine light on sin in my life, and to grow me in my faith. Even so, I think it breaks his heart when I do things that separate me from him.
I feel certain that he would rather I choose him freely, not out of duress. I feel certain that he would rather I submit fully to him and his will and just follow his lead in all things instead of choosing to follow him out of the valley once I've landed myself there.
When I think about the idea that evil is the absence of good, I feel a little sick. In my life there have been several spans of time where my choices lead me away from God. These choices, without exception, landed me in the valley eventually. Realizing that I allowed, at times invited, evil into my life makes me sick. The brutal truth about those times in my life is that, for whatever reason, I chose Satan's temporary pleasure for God's complete fulfillment. That truth hurts.
A while back, my hubs said that he worried that I made light of suicide and depression. I do not think that anyone who has read my story would think that suicide is the answer to anything.
I have and will continue to say that I am thankful for the valleys I have traveled, but that thankfulness is only for what GOD did in my life and in my heart while I was in the valley, not for the valley itself of for what brought me to it. This is especially true of the valley of depression and suicide. I would not choose it again, nor would I suggest that it is something that anyone should entertain. I am thankful for the many ways God healed me and restored me as a result of me being in the bottom of that valley.
Big Hugs and much love,
K
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