Joiner's theory of Suicide (and my personal ramblings)

I found this article on Suicide from 2013. It is quite interesting and thought provoking, albeit long. As this article makes painfully clear, "suicide is not easy, painless, cowardly, selfish, vengeful, self-masterful, or rash." The author goes on to say, 

"Suicide is the rare killer that fails to inspire celebrity PSAs, 5K fun runs, and shiny new university centers for study and treatment."  

Thomas Joiner was studying clinical psychology when his father committed suicide. HE struggled with the "Why?" even more than many families would because he knew that his father did not show the "warning signs" that were discussed in his classes. This drove him to focus his studies on suicide, and he has talked with hundreds of suicide survivors and suicidal people over the past 20 years. He believes that the understanding we have of what leads a person to suicide is incomplete. He does not believe that the person who is a danger to themselves is always the person who is looking for an "easy way out." Joiner goes so far as to offer the idea that suicide is often a misguided act of heroism, born from the idea that "The world would be better off without me". (I'll let you read the article, found HERE to work that out for yourself.)

Joiner presents his theory as to why self harm is now the leading cause of death for people 15-49, surpassing all cancers and heart disease. 

He proposes that the risk of suicide lies in the overlap of three beliefs: 

• I am alone, 
• I am a burden, and 
• I am not afraid to die. 

I can relate to this. Perhaps you can as well. Actually, I hope you cant. It's a terrible place to be.  I hope that there will be a day when Suicide is better understood, that something more than meds, blame casting, and  finger pointing can be offered to those who survive, and that suicide and mental illness can be freely discussed without shame or stigma. I hope that there will come a time when suicide survivors are not put with recovering drug and alcohol addicts when they are "committed" and that treatment will be focused on overcoming the desire to die rather than simply removing all opportunity for self harm for a given number of days. Until then, those of us who survive suicide look for answers and hope where ever we can. So far I have been unable to find the answers to my most pressing questions, which sound something like: 

• How do I stop the constant ache in my soul that brought me to this place to begin with? 
  
  
• What do I do with all this pain now that I have taken the suicide option off the table?
  
  
• How do I guarantee that I won't find myself in that darkest place again?

Months of counseling and 2 hospital stays have given me no real answers. I am still just trying to make it thru each day without falling apart...but I AM making it thru each day. I guess that's something.

I do know this: If you are considering suicide, get help.

call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.