Friday, January 16, 2015

living intentionally or just being busy?

A friend and I were brainstorming about a women's retreat event to be held at her B&B...great idea! Before long, I was revamping the ladies' ministry, planning multiple events, discussing web design with Madhatz, designing new logos, putting together a new and improved mission statement, setting goals and making lists, enlisting prayer warrior friends to pray for this new chapter. I was on my way to being used by God again! WooHOo!!!! I was open and available to HIM so that He could use me to reach hurting women and I was soooo very excited!
I want to reach women with the healing love of Christ. I want to guide them to freedom in Christ Jesus. I want to show them that they do not have to believe the lies Satan tells them. I want them to see that Satan has them in bondage and that Christ will set them free. More than anything, I want to live my life so that, when I am gone, I leave a beautiful legacy. I want it to matter that I was here. I want to leave a mark. I want the people who know me to believe that their lives are better for it, not because of me, but because God loved them through me. Surely God wants me to do big things for Him, right? Surely He wants me to give Him my very best and be totally sold out for Him, right?
Then it hit me...I can't do everything I want to do right now. God gently, but quickly reminded me that my first priority is the family He has given me to care for. I am not going to be a success if I share Christ with thousands of women (or 5 women) if I do so at the expense of my family.
There is a fine line between seizing every opportunity God sends my way and just looking for ways to be really busy. I was well on my way to crossing that line. Thankfully, God graciously tapped me on the shoulder and helped me to see the danger in traveling that road. As I am embarking on a year of making the most of the life Christ has given me, I must stop and consider how MUCH God would have me do.
I still want to live more intentionally. I still want to breathe in every bit of life that God has given me. I still want to experience the life God has given me to the absolute fullest. My friend and I are still planning to have ladies' retreats at her B&B. I am still over the top excited about that and can't wait to do the first one! At the same time, I am so very thankful that God gently reminded me that my FIRST mission field is my home. Before He called me to ministry,  He entrusted me with His pastor and 2 wonderfully amazing PKs and my FIRST job is to nurture and care for them.
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