Monday, January 26, 2015

I so easily forget

I so easily forget that God is real, that HE is present in my life, that He hears my prayers, knows my thoughts, understands my feelings, hopes, and fears.
Its crazy because He has done so much for me. It is absurd that I would forget the power He has displayed in my life personally...I will use healing me of cancer not once, but twice, as a decent example. You'd think that I would have the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart every day of my life. You'd think that, as a pastor's wife, I would be solidly connected to my Savior and in constant amazement of all the things He does every moment of every day.
But I so easily forget.
I don't forget the "big stuff". I don't forget that He changed my heart. I don't forget that He healed my body. I don't forget that He saved my children's souls. I don't forget that He gave me a godly husband.
Instead, I forget the "little things".
I believe that I forget the "little things" because the "Devil is in the Details". He knows that he cannot compete with the "big things" God has done in my life, so Satan slips in and whispers hopelessness in my ear. Satan slips in and gradually crushes my spirit. Satan slips in and slowly steals my joy. Satan slips in and calmly drains my strength. Satan slips into all the little things and leaves me weary, broken, and beaten up by life. Somewhere between lunches and laundry and dinner and dishes and homework and housework and church-work and work-work and family and friends and teaching and preaching....I forget.
I forget that He hears me....even when I can't find words to pray.
I forget that He knows I am parenting and wife-ing and teaching and laundry and housework.
I forget that He knows the longing of my heart...that I want to feel cherished and protected and safe.
I forget that He knows that I am afraid...of not being good enough, of letting Him (and everyone else) down, of missing the mark, of not meeting expectations....of failing.
I forget that He can heal my marriage, my damaged friendships, and my wounded heart.
I forget that He can change people.
I forget that He can change me.
It is in the little things that God strengthens me moment by moment. It is in the little things that God restores my hope, my joy, my passion, and my faith each and every day. I so easily forget that He is in control, that He has a plan and a purpose, and that His will WILL be accomplished. I so easily forget the power of the One I serve.
Today I am thankful. I am thankful that I serve a God who loves me enough to remind me that He is here. I am thankful that He hears my prayers, be they timid, bold, spoken, or unspoken.  
And I am so very thankful that He cares enough to remind me that He is present in the little things....because I so easily forget.
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