Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Testimony

I went to see the RAD ONC on the 27th of last month.
Dr Caudell moved away, so I have a new Dr. that will oversee me now along with Doc S.
The visit went well. I like the new Dr just fine.
found out some good stuff...
the area that they radiated was so "Specific" (my word, not his) that there is a chance that I could have radiation again, should the cancer come back.
(before this I was told that the only thing we could do if it came back a 3rd time was to take out my larynx...so this is VERY GOOD NEWS)
Also, there is a 95% chance that the cancer will NOT come back!
AND because the radiation was given in such a specific area, there was little damage to the surrounding tissues and thus I am at less of a risk for getting a secondary cancer in my salavary glands, thyriod, tonsils, etc.
 
AND I have "webbing" between my cords.
This explains Doc's concerned look, and why he acted so wierd AND why he would not let me see my cords when i visited with him last.
He did not tell me about the webbing (because he knows me and knew I would freak out), But Dr Pak told me very matter of factly, as though it is no big deal. I sent Doc S an e-mail and asked him about it. He said that the steriod inhaler he gave me should arrest the webbing, but wont correct it.
He also said that this what is preventing my voice from being normal.
AND he will have to surgically repair it.
I looked online and there is a 6-8 week total voice restriction following this procedure. They have to put a keel in to seperate the cords and prevent them from closing back together....(sigh) great. It stays in for about 4 weeks. So, I guess it is 4 weeks of voice restriction because of the keel and then 2 more weeks to heal. I am wondering,....how does one drink and eat with this keel in? If it is holding the cords open, then wouldn't you get choked? hmmmm...more questions for the good Doctor.
Anyway, we are all about hospitaled out and the thought of another surgery and more voice rest is not very appealing. I talked to the hubs about it when I got home and we are not going to make the decision to or not to do the surgery just yet. Going to wait and see what my voice does as it heals.
I could really use a miracle right now. Would be GREAT if I went in next time and the webbing was gone.
 
I feel like I have a lump in my throat. Feels very similar to whan I had the granuloma abck in 09....hmmmm....this is what I told Doc when i went in after I first started treatment and felt like my airway was restricted. I wonder if I had the webbing then. I will have to remember to ask him about that when I see him end of the month.
 
I don't have to see the Rad Onc again until January. The rad "burn" scar on my neck is...well...it is still there. I'll post a pic later on the week. I will continue to see Doc S every month for a year like before. If the cancer does not come back, i'll see him every 2 months for a year and then every 3 months for a year, and then every 4-6 months for a year and then once a year for....well, for 10 years. 
 
Am leading Ladies Bible Study again and it feels so good to be back in the groove.
We are having 2 big ladies events at the church in November and December and I am over the top excited about the ladies who are getting involved! God is doing amazing things in the lives of so many in our congregation and i am excited to ba able to witness their growth!!!!
 
I still get really tired. (Only when i don't rest like I should.) For example, I did not rest Sunday afternoon like I normally do. Instead, i cleaned out the sunroom and moved all my painting stuff out there (so now I can say that I have a "studio" I guess!).  So, today I feel bad. not bad. Just really tired... and I am supposed to go tot the gym after work....ugh!
 
There are so many reasons that I am thankful that God has allowed me to have cancer.
I am continually amazed at the lengths to which our Father will go in order to make sure that we have what we need.
For me, He has given me the experiential knowledge of His trustworthiness to add to Scriptural knowledge.
In doing this, He has given me a marvelous confidence in His sovereignty and has blessed me with tremendous faith in His Plan (even when I can't understand what he is doing).
I would never have learned to trust Him so completely, had I not had cancer. I would not have had the wonderful opportunity to pray with the ladies I met waiting for radiation, had I not had cancer. I would not have met my Doctors, residents, and nurses, had I not had cancer. I would not have met Dr Schweinfurth and been able to share the love of Christ with him for all these years had I not had cancer TWICE... and I will gladly battle it again for the privilege of witnessing God's hand at work in the lives of so many people.
It has taken me longer than i would have liked for me to get to this point, but I am thankful that God kept working on me until I trusted Him fully.
 
A sweet friend told me when I was diagnosed this second time that we can't have a testimony without a test. I am thankful for this test because of the wonderful testimony of God's hand in my life as He carried me through this valley.
 
hugs!
K
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