Thursday, June 23, 2011

And the Verdict is....


After waiting all yesterday afternoon for my phone to ring, this completely anti climactic. I truly expected more...and am oh so very thankful that this is it.

Doc S said that I'll get a call from "them" this week to schedule an appointment.

I'll find out more then.

Last time I had cancer, I was very desperate for God's presence. I remember clinging to Him with absolute desperation. This time around, I know He's with me. I know He will get me through this. I know He is in control. I know He will not leave me. I know He prepared me for this.

Maybe that's the key. He prepared me for this. Not only has He grown me in my relationship with Him, he has placed amazing people in my life to help me as i travel this road. I have a huge support system in general, and an inner circle of precious women who are mature in their walk with the Lord and are constantly reminding me of our Father's promises and presence.

I don't know what else to say right now. I am not at all even a little tiny bit excited about having to get radiation, but am relieved that it is not combined with a neck dissection and chemo. I'm still not sure if I am truly at peace or just numb. I do know that I am absolutely honestly okay. I am not falling to pieces and I am not freaking out. I can't sleep, but I have suffered with insomnia before.

I know that this is all going to be okay. I have matured in my relationship with Christ in the past two years and my trust in Him is more matter-of-fact and less desperate. Maybe that's a thought to expand on later today.



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