I suppose that today's topic is predictable. It is Thanksgiving after all.
Thing is, I really AM thankful.
I am DEEPLY thankful for these past 18 months. (Gosh, they've been hard.)
Often the greatest blessings come on the other side of our most painful experiences. My life is testimony to this fact. If you have followed my journey, I pray that my life encourages you to trust God, follow Christ, and keep pressing forward. Don't give up.
God allows great pain. He certainly allowed it in my life. He allowed me to struggle. He allowed me to doubt. He allowed me to seek satisfaction outside of Him. He allowed me to wallow in self-loathing. He allowed me to suffer. He allowed me to try (unsuccessfully) to put myself back together. He allowed me to sulk and blame and make excuses. He allowed me to justify poor choices and tolerated my lack of faith.
Much as a parent waits out a toddler's tantrum, God Almighty waited until I was exhausted, spent, drenched with sweat and tears... until I knew that nothing apart from Him would satisfy the longing in my soul. THEN (and only then) He began to restore me...in His way, using His methods, on His schedule.
He sat with me as I carefully unpacked all the hurts I'd buried over the course of my life and helped me see them from His point of view. He was patient with me when I retreated into familiar patterns of thought and behavior. He was gentle with me when I slid back into the pit of depression and despair. He put good people in my life to guide and direct me through the process of... what... hmmmm... I think we were rewriting my story... well, it's the same story, but now God is the main character instead of me.
A friend asked just this week "How are you doing?" This person doesn't ask often, but always wants the truth and won't let me get away with "oh, I'm fine." I was able to say, "I'm really good" and when asked "why? tell me," I said "I've made peace with my pieces."
I've made peace with my pieces.
Wow.
The past 18 months have been really hard. I don't ever want to go through that valley again. However, I would not trade it for anything because where I am now is soooo good. I am whole.
God helped me make peace with my pieces... and now I have peace.
For that, I am thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving!
K
Thing is, I really AM thankful.
I am DEEPLY thankful for these past 18 months. (Gosh, they've been hard.)
Often the greatest blessings come on the other side of our most painful experiences. My life is testimony to this fact. If you have followed my journey, I pray that my life encourages you to trust God, follow Christ, and keep pressing forward. Don't give up.
God allows great pain. He certainly allowed it in my life. He allowed me to struggle. He allowed me to doubt. He allowed me to seek satisfaction outside of Him. He allowed me to wallow in self-loathing. He allowed me to suffer. He allowed me to try (unsuccessfully) to put myself back together. He allowed me to sulk and blame and make excuses. He allowed me to justify poor choices and tolerated my lack of faith.
Much as a parent waits out a toddler's tantrum, God Almighty waited until I was exhausted, spent, drenched with sweat and tears... until I knew that nothing apart from Him would satisfy the longing in my soul. THEN (and only then) He began to restore me...in His way, using His methods, on His schedule.
He sat with me as I carefully unpacked all the hurts I'd buried over the course of my life and helped me see them from His point of view. He was patient with me when I retreated into familiar patterns of thought and behavior. He was gentle with me when I slid back into the pit of depression and despair. He put good people in my life to guide and direct me through the process of... what... hmmmm... I think we were rewriting my story... well, it's the same story, but now God is the main character instead of me.
A friend asked just this week "How are you doing?" This person doesn't ask often, but always wants the truth and won't let me get away with "oh, I'm fine." I was able to say, "I'm really good" and when asked "why? tell me," I said "I've made peace with my pieces."
I've made peace with my pieces.
Wow.
The past 18 months have been really hard. I don't ever want to go through that valley again. However, I would not trade it for anything because where I am now is soooo good. I am whole.
God helped me make peace with my pieces... and now I have peace.
For that, I am thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving!
K
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