Over the past 18 months, I've shared my struggle to get out of the valley of depression. I've made it clear that it is okay to not be okay. You don't have to have it all together all the time. There is nothing wrong with having a full blown come apart when your world falls to pieces. Why wouldn't you? Hmmmm?
In case you are just joining me on this journey, let me make it clear: It is OKAY to not be okay.
Really. Give yourself a break. You aren't perfect. You aren't going to be perfect. You aren't going to please everyone. And ya know what's great about that? You don't need to. It is not your job or responsibility to make anyone happy. If you are upset, be upset and then get over it. If you are hurt, be hurt. Feel it. Own it. Then move on. Someone in your life consistently dumping their garbage on you, knocking you down so that they feel better about themselves? Acknowledge that, see that it is wrong, and remove that person from your life. It is not your responsibility to be someone's doormat. Someone you love given months (or weeks) to live? It is OKAY to be angry, fearful, and sad.
You do not have to be okay when things in your world clearly suck.
Here's the thing tho....
It is ALSO okay to be okay!
It is TOTALLY okay to love your life.... whatEVER your life looks like. It is absolutely okay to think your spouse is cool. It is okay to enjoy your home, whether it is 500 square feet or 5000 square feet. It is okay to like your job. It is OKAY to be okay. Really. It is. It is okay to be proud of a job well done. It is okay to LIKE who God created you to be. It is okay to celebrate the successes of those you love... including yourself.... yes.. I said it... it is even okay to love yourself.
I've spent all my life trying to be who I think the people in my life want me to be. I've tried to force myself to conform to who I think others think I "should" be. I have wanted my strengths to be the strengths that the people I love value. Thing is.... that's NOT who I am.
I know so many people who apologize for who they are. They apologize for having much... and for having little. They apologize for... everything. I know people who claim all sorts of negative things as their identity (I'm depressed, I'm divorced, I have anxiety, etc.) and they believe that it is not okay for them to be... okay. It's like they HAVE to have something wrong. It is as though they believe that being happy and content and pleased with life is somehow... wrong.
Please stop. Just stop. Embrace who God made you to be. You are not supposed to be like anyone else. You are no less or no greater because you are not like your neighbor or your parents or your siblings or your spouse or your boss. You are unique. You are... you.
Disclaimer.... The other side of "embracing who you are" is the person who uses "this is just how I am" to do bad things and to hurt and control other people. Please understand this is NOT okay. Strong confident whole people do not hurt, manipulate and control others. Eventually people grow weary of living under a tyrant and, well, tyrants must either change, continuously find someone new to lord over, or they find themselves very much alone. Wow.. that is a post for another day.
Just be you. Embrace the whoever God created you to be. Build on your strengths. Acknowledge (but don't apologize for) your weakness. Stop tying to be what you think others want you to be and celebrate who you actually are.
Your future self will thank you for it.
Bug hugs
K
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