Thursday Thoughts on...the bigger picture

A while back, I started a list of questions that I'm trying to answer.  As I've wrestled with these subjects, I've made peace with myself. I'm learning to embrace who God created me to be... and have been pleasantly surprised to find that woman to be quite different from who I've been trying to be.

I'm left with three questions to answer:

What determines my worth?
What do I LIKE about me?

What is holding me back?

I kept putting these 3 questions off because I didn't think I knew the answer to them. The more I wrestle with them, the more I realize that I do indeed know the answers and they are quite simple really. More than that, the answers to these last questions speak to my very soul.

I am nothing much to look at. On the surface, I am a plain, overweight 45 year old woman. I will tell you that I over think situations and stress over every decision to be made during the course of any given day and i often try to quiet my fears and frustrations with chips and dip. I'm a moody introvert who is most comfortable hiding behind a keyboard. If you look over my past, you will easily find a multitude of bad choices, broken promises, random health scares and damaged relationships. All in all I'm not much more than a big mess.

On my own I have no worth. On my own, I am a wretched beast. Left to my own devices, I will choose poorly when given the opportunity to choose. Knowing all this makes what I am about to tell you even more unbelievable...

I am more valuable than all the riches on earth. My worth is not determined by anything I have done or anything I will ever do. Before I was born, before I had opportunity to take a breath, the Creator of the Universe called me His. Scripture says that He knew me in my mother's womb. Scripture says that while I was His enemy, He laid down His life for me. My worth is determined not by anything I have done or ever will do. My worth is determined by who I belong to. I belong to Christ. He gave His life for me. Without Him, I am a wretched beast, but with Him, I am a Child of God.

My relationship to Christ determines my value.

I don't like much about me. I can give you a lengthy list of my faults and failures. All that is good in me is from Christ. I say that with complete sincerity. Apart from Christ, I am a wretched beast and until recently, THAT is what I have claimed as my identity...but IN CHRIST, I have Joy, Peace, Love, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control. Christ in me loves people. Christ in me sees the best in others. Christ in me is kind to strangers. Christ in me is faithful. Christ in me is good. Christ in me is self controlled. Christ in me is patient and gentle. Christ in me is filled with peace and joy. Apart from Christ I am nothing... but with Him, I am filled to overflowing with all kinds of wonderful.

I forgot that.

I just forgot.

And THAT's what's been holding me back...

I FORGOT whose I am. I forgot who I belong to. I forgot where my strength comes from. I forgot who lives thru me. I forgot WHO claimed me before I took a breath. I forgot that the best thing I can do is just get out of the way and watch God work in and thru me.

I truly believe that this has been the problem all this time...and I know I've said it before. I knew it...and I forgot it again...and again.  Satan is a slippery sucker and he weasels in where ever he can. All he needs is a tiny crack to slip in and start wreaking havoc. I've let him do just that. He has stolen my joy, robbed me of my peace, and tried to ruin my testimony.

Poor Satan. He will never win. He's already been defeated for all eternity. His fate is sealed.

Little did he know that in trying to destroy me, he would add to my testimony. Little did he know that he would add a chapter to my story of grace, deliverance, and restoration.

My fate is sealed as well. I am the Lord's. Nothing can pluck me from His hand.

Just my thoughts,

K

I'm curious...on what do you base your worth?