All the news is still about the Pandemic. Covid 19 has been the hot topic since March of last year. Currently, the Delta Variant is top of mind. Izzy, Brian, and I just got over it. I'm actually in quarantine for several more days, but am on the mend. Yes, I am fully vaccinated - got the virus anyway. Had to get the Monoclony Antibody Infusion to start getting better. I was really, really sick.

I'm truly tired of Covid and all the canceling of everything. I understand better now that I've had it - and was so very sick with it. It is maddening that we are vaccinated and still getting sick. I don't know if this is ever going to end.

But I didn't come back to the blog after 18 months to talk about Covid.

So much has happened. Brian and Tayler got Married in August of last year and are expecting a son in October of this year. SOOOO exciting!!!!!! Izzy got her license and her first job. She was staying an extra week at Camp Livingstones to be a Counselor In Training when she got Covid. She is amazing and so willing to be used by God. She struggles to find her place; she doesn't have a strong group of Christian peers like Brian did and that makes life harder for her. She does well despite the influence from friends who are not driven in the same ways she is.

School is going to start soon for Izzy - Junior year. I'm hoping that she is able to actually go to school "in person" all year.

That's all the big news.

Things have been rocky for me since summer of 2017. The job change I made in 2019 removed the stigma I felt that I had at Community with the people who walked the cancer valley with me and who also walked the depression valley with me. Whether it is true or not, I felt that those who knew me best there saw me as permanently broken. I didn't think that I would ever recover from my suicide attempt so long as I was there with them.

Truth is - I WAS broken. I was still very broken even in 2019. I'm sure this will be sorted out over and over again until I don't have to deal with depression anymore, but, for now, I'll just say that it's taken 4 years and a job change to get to be able to say that I'm okay most days. 

And most days I am okay.

I still have really bad days... but no longer have really bad weeks...or months. 

Most days are neutral. Get up, go to work, go home. Repeat. Mix in some church. Sprinkle in time with friends here and there. 

Then I have amazing days when I am SO thankful to be here. I am so thankful to be able to see Brian and Tayler get married and start their life together. I am so thankful to be able to see Izzy grow into a young woman. I'm thankful to be in a place in my marriage where we have found a peaceful pattern. Sometimes it's these big things, and sometimes it's the perfect song on the radio with the sun shining just right against  perfect puffy white clouds in a brilliant blue sky; all that matters is that I realize - often - how much I'd be missing if my life ended in 2017 and am SO thankful to be here.

That's enough for today.

Hugs!
K