Get Fit Friday - What's Working / What's Changing

This is not what I planned on sharing today. I'd planned on sharing how I'd finally gotten my diet in check and started craving gym time. Neither of those are true, so I'll not be sharing that today.

I've had a difficult couple of weeks. This whole process of surviving after an attempted suicide is sort of like peeling layers of an onion. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with everything at once. It seems that, as I am ready, another layer peels away to reveal another hurt or... something. I've actually begun to believe that it matters how I talk to myself. I've actually begun to believe that the harsh way I judge myself  is unfair. I've actually begun to believe that I have given power to people who no longer have any control over me because I continue to speak to myself the way they did. That is no longer acceptable to me. So this week...

I've been gentle with myself and I've spoken kind words to me.
I've given myself the benefit of the doubt and allowed myself to grieve.

I've grieved what might have been and what will never be.
I picked up pieces of my heart and I've made peace with....
me.

I know not only that I trip and stumble; but also how hard I try.
So this week I've been gentle with me and allowed myself to cry.

I've cried over what's past and can't be changed and over what will never be.
I've cried for people I love... and realized that I love me.

So I've been gentle with me. I've been loving, encouraging, and kind.
I've focused my thoughts on the good in me, tho it's sometimes hard to find.

I'm choosing to see myself differently than others seem to do.
I'm choosing to trust Christ to determine my worth and purpose and value.

I'm allowing my heart to be healed by the one who saved my soul
Cause I think that maybe He saved me so that I could finally be whole.


Much love and big big hugs,
K