Love

 



 

It's Valentine's Day.  I read something today that said "Don't make Valentine's day a test to see how much your husband loves you". My husband hates Valentines day and I think it is because of all the pressure society puts on men to "prove" their undying love... with flowers, dinner, wine, and diamonds. I've realized something over time...Dinner wont satisfy the longing in my heart, neither will chocolate, flowers, or even diamonds.  There is a longing in my heart for....something else, something bigger. I will go out on a limb and say that most females feel this longing, unless they are in the first few months of a relationship. Perhaps you can relate...

We want to be valued.  We want to be "worthy" of his time. We want to be desirable. We want to occupy his thoughts. We want to matter. We want to be important enough to him that he wants to surprise us with thoughtful gifts. We want to be cherished and cared for and taken care of. We want to feel secure and safe and protected. We want to turn his world upside down. We want him to be consumed with us (on our terms...don't smother us...haha). We want him to look at us with stars in his eyes because he truly believes we are the most wonderful, beautiful, mesmerizing woman he has ever known. You may not agree with all of these things and you may have others to add, but you get the idea.

I am confident that most all females feel this way because it is the underlying theme in every romance movie and romance novel that has any sort of success. Guy meets girl, girl turns guys world completely upside down, guy cant live without girl, guy pursues girl even to his own peril. His attraction to her is something he cannot fight against (even though in all the good stories, he does try to deny his feelings). 

 

Here's the catch...these movies and books would not be so appealing to us if they reflected reality.

 

There is a reason that they call these "chick flicks" and there is a reason you don't see your fella curled up on the couch with a box of tissues reading Nicholas Sparks. These things we long for...the things that Romance novels are full of...are not things that Guys typically "get".  We are longing for something that most men are simply unable to fulfill.

 

I read somewhere ( I THINK it is in Desire by John Eldridge, but don't quote me on that) that the curse in Genesis is our problem. God tells Eve in Genesis 3, starting with verse 16...

Then God said to the woman, “I will cause you to have much trouble when you are pregnant, and when you give birth to children, you will have great pain.
You will greatly desire your husband, but he will rule over you.”

Now, if the curse is literally only about childbirth and husbands, then the single, childless women are not under the curse. We know that's not true. The curse is for all women. So then, it makes sense that the curse is something that affects ALL women and the author (and I do think it was Eldridge) says that the curse is this longing I've been speaking of...This longing that is so strong within us that Hollywood and book publishers make billions off of our need to satisfy it.

This longing is the curse we live under and will never be fulfilled this side of heaven.

So then, do your heart and your man a favor and stop wishing that he would love you like  Edward loved Bella  or Johnny loved Baby or  Four loved Tris or Danny loved Sandy. Its not fair to either of you.

Instead, look to what God says love TRULY is...

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. ⁵ Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. ⁶ Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. ⁷ Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.

⁸ Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This Valentines Day, celebrate and strive to cultivate genuine God-Breathed LOVE in your relationship. There is SOOO much more to it than Dinner and a Movie.