We all have ups and downs. I hate being "down". I think I need the down times though, otherwise I guess I'd eventually explode with excitement.
A couple of weeks ago, I felt so...numb. I hate that feeling. Give me joy, give me pain...but don't give me "nothing". So I started asking God, "Is this really where you want me? I mean, are we really doing anything for the kingdom? Am I just fooling myself in thinking that I am contributing to the Great Commission? I mean really, is all this making a difference?"
Things get hard sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I am just beating my head against a wall. Bible Study lessons and Sunday school lessons and late night conversations seem to fall on deaf ears. Not always, but sometimes.
And for every woman that meets Jesus, there are more who need to see His face for the first time. For every woman who finds forgiveness in His eyes, there are more who live with the burden of shame and regret. For every woman who finds wholeness in her Savior's strong embrace, there are more who are living shattered lives.
I know that Jesus said that all of heaven rejoices over ONE.
But there are so many. It is overwhelming.
So, I started praying, "Remind me why we're doing this God. I am so tired. I can't find the passion I had before. I need you to remind my heart why we started this in the first place."
I prayed and prayed.
Sunday morning God answered....as only God can do.
2 women who we have been praying for accepted Christ. Please understand, I have been praying for one of these women every single day for....gosh...2 years? Have not seen her in all that time. She visited FLO Bible study one time and got stuck in my heart. She came back a few weeks ago....and the rest is history.
the other gal is a friend of a friend who, after visiting church, told my friend, "I'm not a Christian". That was a few months ago. Seemed that everything on earth kept her from church after that. But she was there Sunday and made her love of Jesus public.
That's what it's all about. And yes there are many more. And there will always be more.
Ya know, I thought He'd remind me why He called me by showing me all the pain and sorrow and darkness in the lives of hurting women who need Him. I thought He's show me the need.
Instead He showed me the reward.....the goal we are working for....that All may know him.
SO, as it turns out, I am meeting with the FLO ministry team today to plan 2010. What perfect timing. HE turned all of our hearts to the single goal of taking women by the hand and leading them to Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less.
There is absolutely nothing in this life better than leading someone to Christ.
Hugs
K
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