Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Travelin Light

A while back I wrote a post in which I wondered "What now?" At that point I was afraid that it would be difficult to write about my faith and my relationship with Christ now that my battle with cancer seems to be over. I was right. It HAS been difficult to write.

Everyday life seems so boring compared to the constant drama that surrounded having cancer. Everyday life seems so insignificant compared to battling cancer.

My everyday struggles do not seem worthy of writing about....

BUT

My everyday struggles are what steal my joy.

The everyday, run-of-the-mill, day in and day out normal struggles like:

Dealing with difficult people at work
Getting the kids out of bed, dressed, fed, and to school on time
Marriage (and I have a husband that makes marriage easy compared to some people i know)
Juggling work, home, family, friends, church
Losing my temper
Being judgemental
Sins like over-eating, pride, and greed
Parenting

Being diagnosed with cancer knocked me off my feet with a powerful force, but these are the sorts of things that wear me down little by little...day by day.

So, even though these aren't the sorts of things that draw people's attention....nothing like having cancer or having a sick child or...well day to day life is just nothing exciting. BUT it is life and I'll do my best to be as open and honest about my daily struggles as I was about having cancer. After all, Scripture says it is the little foxes that ruin the vine (Song of Solomon). I guess the big ones are easy to spot. It's the little things that slip in and go unnoticed until they have caused significant damage.

In church Wednesday night, we were challenged to "lay it down" at the foot of the cross. Everyone's "it" is different. The things that ran through my mind as I prayed were:
  • FLO (the Ladies ministry)
  • My marriage
  • My finances
  • Overeating
  • Parenting
  • My Sunday School class

My heart was so heavy with the realization that I did not hesitate to rush to the cross when i had cancer, but I tarry with these things. Why is it so hard to give the little things and the GOOD things over to God? Why do I feel as though I can take care of these things without His intervention?

So, I'm layin down the little stuff and the good stuff before I go any farther down this road. I can travel farther if I'm travelin light.

Hugs
K