Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I was initially planning to vent about how much I DON'T like the "radiation folks". I have truly been disgruntled with Dr Radiation. He seems to think that Radiation is like spring water...it just makes us more attractive, smarter, and smell better. Monday I told him "my throat really hurts and I feel like I can't breathe" his response... "well, your neck isn't red." REALLY???? Didn't say anything about my neck,....but evidently he thinks that damage on the outside is all that matters. So, there, I have vented...now for the good stuff....
I went to see Doc S yesterday morning (because I was so upset about Dr Radiation's lack of concern with how I feel) and he looked at my throat (go figure!!) and said that he will see me once a week to check my progress (and damage). He said that i have plenty of room to breathe, but have more damage than he expected to see this early....but also that he normally does not see patients until they are done with treatment. He said that we'll let Dr Radiation take care of the radiation and he (Doc S) will take care of my throat and vocal cords. He also told me to take B-Complex because it helps with healing...something else that Radiation didn't mention.
So...praise number one...DOC S!!!! Thank you Father God for Doc S and for his concern for my throat during radiation and for his awareness that i want to have as little damage as possible when this is over!
Praise number 2...MY VOICE IS IMPROVING!!!! The radiation is SUPPOSED to make me LOSE my voice, so this makes absolutely NO SENSE, but it IS!!!!!! God is gracious to me is so many ways, but this is such a huge blessing to my heart! Not to say that I will not lose it again, but for NOW, it is improving! Isn't it JUST LIKE GOD to do something like this?!?
Praise number 3... I actually felt BETTER last week rhan i did the week before!!! MY THOAT WAS EVEN LESS sore. Honest! Would not sugar coat this cause I want all the sympathy I can get! (hee hee) Now, again, this could change at any moment and I realize that this may very well just be the calm before the storm, but even so...IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! I even asked about my radiation dosage yesterday because I thought maybe it was like a Z-Pak and i got a higher dose the first week or so and was now getting a lower dosage and thus feeling not as bad...but NO! I am getting the same dosage every day. The effects of the radiation are supposed to BUILD. I just found out this weekend from someone that Dose #12 was the one that was "the beginning of the end" where she was SO sick.
I get number 10 today and, I honestly feel good.Okay, I am a little tired and my throat hurts a bit...but the point is, i feel BETTER than I did this time last week!!!
The ONLY thing I can attribute it to is the enormous amount of people who are going to HIM on my behalf!!!! Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers! God is so merciful and so gracious. I am blessed beyond measure! Thank you all for thinking of me, encouraging me, and for PRAYING for me! I knew that God was going to do SOMETHING in my heart, but had no idea that He was going to AFFIRM the ABSOLUTE power of prayer!
Even if i crash and burn tomorrow, and feel wretched the rest of this journey, I want you ALL to know how AMAZED I am that God saw fit to give me these blessings this week!
There is one other thing I must mention....God humbled me while i was waiting to see Doc S yesterday. I saw a woman who was covered in burns...hands, arms, legs, feet. HORRID scarring from what must have been excruciating burns! I also saw several people confined to wheelchairs, with traches, completely dependant on others to take care of them. As I sat there I felt so guilty for being a baby about taking radiation. no matter how bad this gets for me...it WILL be over at some point. What a blessed reminder! What I have IS curable!!! Praise God for THAT!
Thank you again.....
ps...i am praying that God will help me understand Dr Radiation's thought process concerning the effects of the radiation and that I will either understand that his feelings and thoughts are correct...or that I will have the opportunity to correct him....hee hee hee