The hardest part of being a pastors wife is watching my pastor struggle. Being his wife allows me the blessing of being close to his heart. I am "on the inside". I know "the rest of the story". Sometimes that's really cool. Sometimes it knocks me to my knees.
I have never known a man seek the heart of God like Calvin does. He is just a man, and he is far from perfect, but he absolutely without question desires God's will in every aspect of his life. He grieves when God does not give him clear answers. He waits and suffers until God makes His will clear. Following God is as natural to him as breathing. The burning, all consuming desire in his heart to know God, to Follow God's will, and to lead God's church is evident to all who know him. He loves the church. He cherishes the church just as he cherishes our children. He knows that God has entrusted them to him...which brings me back to Calvin seeking the heart of God. Calvin truly puts what God wants for His church above anything else...above his own ambitions...above any of our own desires....He knows he will answer to God for how he leads His church and he takes that very seriously.
Most of the time, Calvin is alive, on fire, excited, and determined to share God's love for our congregation in a fresh way.
But there are times when the enormity of being the spiritual leader for such a diverse group weighs heavy on his heart. It is in these times that God reaches down and whispers to my pastors heart. I can always tell when He does, because Calvin is at peace. These are times when The Creator of Heaven and Earth takes a moment to speak to the heart of His pastor, not to give him a word for His people...He comes with a word for His Pastor...
"I love you"
"I am with you"
"I chose you"
"I am in control"
"Just follow me"
"Well done"
I don't know exactly what God whispers to Calvin's heart. I don't know if Calvin could put it into words. It's not something we talk about, but I know when it happens. Self doubt is replaced by confidence, not in himself, but in the One who guides him. "What if" is replaced with a calm assurance that things will be just as God intends them to be. Calvin is reminded that his job is to do what God says. That's all. God will take care of the rest.
It blesses my soul to know that the One who called Calvin to the life we lead takes time to whisper to his heart. It comforts me to know that God takes time to encourage the heart of my sweet pastor.
We all need to be affirmed. I never cease to be amazed at the love of my God, but I am left breathless when I am reminded that the great big God we serve takes time to affirm the heart of His pastor.
Hugs
K
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Do you fall short of perfect?
You are not alone!
Every morning, I wake up and say to myself, "self, today we are going to get it right. Going to be a "perfect" mom, wife, friend, employee, pastor's wife... everything...total package. Today we're going to get it right".
Spend uninterrupted time alone with God.
No fussing at the kids and Calvin over things that don't really matter.
Spend time checking on friends, family, and Church members who aren't feeling well.
Be totally productive at work...and not transpose a single number in any of today's spreadsheets. Cook dinner (and clean the kitchen afterwards).
Spend quality time with family.
Make sure the house is spic and span before going to bed.
OH! No listening to (or worse yet, spreading) gossip.
Be a positive role model.
Give Biblical advice.
Be completely uplifting and encouraging in all my conversations (pick up on and point out the positive rather than the negative)
Don't get angry. ...."
Are you kidding me? Okay, sure, this might last for about an hour...because I am the only one awake in the house, but as soon as other people wake up and enter my world, well..."perfect" flies right out the window!
This week, one of the things I did was help my little Izzy learn her memory verse for preschool. SHe has to memorize one for every letter of the alphabet and this week was " A- All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23"
We said it at LEAST 100 times this week. Every time we said it, she reminded me that I'll never be perfect, and neither will anyone else...and that's okay.
We all fall short....that's why we all need a Savior!
Here's her memory verse:
Every morning, I wake up and say to myself, "self, today we are going to get it right. Going to be a "perfect" mom, wife, friend, employee, pastor's wife... everything...total package. Today we're going to get it right".
Spend uninterrupted time alone with God.
No fussing at the kids and Calvin over things that don't really matter.
Spend time checking on friends, family, and Church members who aren't feeling well.
Be totally productive at work...and not transpose a single number in any of today's spreadsheets. Cook dinner (and clean the kitchen afterwards).
Spend quality time with family.
Make sure the house is spic and span before going to bed.
OH! No listening to (or worse yet, spreading) gossip.
Be a positive role model.
Give Biblical advice.
Be completely uplifting and encouraging in all my conversations (pick up on and point out the positive rather than the negative)
Don't get angry. ...."
Are you kidding me? Okay, sure, this might last for about an hour...because I am the only one awake in the house, but as soon as other people wake up and enter my world, well..."perfect" flies right out the window!
This week, one of the things I did was help my little Izzy learn her memory verse for preschool. SHe has to memorize one for every letter of the alphabet and this week was " A- All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23"
We said it at LEAST 100 times this week. Every time we said it, she reminded me that I'll never be perfect, and neither will anyone else...and that's okay.
We all fall short....that's why we all need a Savior!
Here's her memory verse:
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Knit Together
Psalm 139:13 says:
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
New International Version (NIV)
You are created by God. The same God that made the stars, butterflies, flowers, trees, mountains, and oceans made you. He took His time. Our Scripture for today says that he KNIT you together. Ever tried knitting? It takes time, effort, and concentration. You have to know what you’re doing. Each stitch is important. God KNIT you together. He chose the color of your eyes, the texture of your hair, your complexion, the shape of your fingers and toes. He even made you to naturally have an “apple”, “pear”, “hourglass”, or “box” shaped figure. He decided before you were born whether you’d be 5’3” or 5’11. He created the core of your personality …maybe you are NATURALLY an extrovert….or very shy…maybe you are a leader….or a follower…or an amazing listener, a nurturer, an encourager, or a dreamer. He chose the timbre of your voice. Those things you are truly passionate about are most likely passions placed in your heart by the Creator of the Universe before you breathed your first breath. He made you, created you from scratch. You are unique in His creation. Unlike any other. Created in HIS image!
He made you just EXACTLY the way He wanted you to be.
Your Challenge:
Today ask God to reveal to you some things HE did to make you…you.
Things that He knit together to make you different, set apart, a unique individual.
Things only HE could have placed in your being.
Make the list as long as you possibly can.
Thank Him for making you just exactly the way He wanted you to be.
Memorize Psalm 139:13. Bury it deep in your heart and pull it out each and every time you are tempted to compare yourself to ANY other woman today.
Hugs!
K
New International Version (NIV)
You are created by God. The same God that made the stars, butterflies, flowers, trees, mountains, and oceans made you. He took His time. Our Scripture for today says that he KNIT you together. Ever tried knitting? It takes time, effort, and concentration. You have to know what you’re doing. Each stitch is important. God KNIT you together. He chose the color of your eyes, the texture of your hair, your complexion, the shape of your fingers and toes. He even made you to naturally have an “apple”, “pear”, “hourglass”, or “box” shaped figure. He decided before you were born whether you’d be 5’3” or 5’11. He created the core of your personality …maybe you are NATURALLY an extrovert….or very shy…maybe you are a leader….or a follower…or an amazing listener, a nurturer, an encourager, or a dreamer. He chose the timbre of your voice. Those things you are truly passionate about are most likely passions placed in your heart by the Creator of the Universe before you breathed your first breath. He made you, created you from scratch. You are unique in His creation. Unlike any other. Created in HIS image!
He made you just EXACTLY the way He wanted you to be.
Your Challenge:
Today ask God to reveal to you some things HE did to make you…you.
Things that He knit together to make you different, set apart, a unique individual.
Things only HE could have placed in your being.
Make the list as long as you possibly can.
Thank Him for making you just exactly the way He wanted you to be.
Memorize Psalm 139:13. Bury it deep in your heart and pull it out each and every time you are tempted to compare yourself to ANY other woman today.
Hugs!
K
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