Sunday, November 27, 2011

Unanswered Prayers

As I was preparing to go home this Thanksgiving, it hit me that My Great Nan would be pleased with us. She is happily spending her first Thanksgiving and Christmas in heaven with our Lord and I do not think for one moment that she is taking up any time fretting over us, BUT IF she were still here with us, she would be pleased.

Like most families, we have had our share of stressful situations and strained relationships. We have had Holiday Seasons when one or the other of us kids did not "go home" for one reason or another. For the past several years, the Holidays have created more stress than joy.

Nan Died suddenly this summer. I was absolutely devastated for very selfish reasons, but I am thrilled that she did not suffer, she did not live years with a long list of ailments and doctor appointments....and am also thrilled by what her death did to certain members of our family. As often happens when someone dies, Nan's death challenged our family to "let bygones be bygones", to let go of grudges, and stop worrying about who "is right" in this or that situation. In our family, there was much healing that took place between us as we said good bye to Nan.

Now, back to this weekend....I was preparing to go home for Thanksgiving and the thought occurred to me that Nan would be pleased, if not overjoyed, with us. All 3 of us (me, my sister and brother) would be home. We were all excited about it....looking forward to it. No one was worried about what this one or that one might say or do to upset this or that other one. We were just excited to be getting to see each other. There was no anxiety, no dread, just excitement over getting to see each other and spend a bit of time together.

This is where the unanswered prayers come in. I hope I always remember this lesson. Nan prayed...sobbed...pleaded with God for our family. It broke her heart when we "kids" would do things that separated us from the family and she prayed for years that we would all "act right" and "be nice".

She died before she saw my brother and my parents reconnect. She died before she saw my sister meet a nice man and decide to get married and "do it the right way". She died before I was cured of cancer the second time. She died before my mom was able to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that, at least for the moment, all her kids were home and safe and well. Yet, all these prayers...these countless endless prayers that Nan prayed on our behalf...they have indeed all been answered. In God's time. In God's way.

I want to remember this, because I know that there prayers that I may not see answered. I want to remember that God is on His own time schedule and it really does not matter whether I see the answers or not....God is still in the business of answering prayers.

I do indeed wish that Nan could have known that, by the end of this year, we were all going to be okay. That is my silly human-ness coming out, for I KNOW that in Heaven, we are the farthest from her mind. I am however, SO thankful that she prayed us through the dark times and oh so grateful that I can witness the fruit of her labor.

I am thankful for this very vivid lesson:

The important thing is to keep praying.

Never, never stop going to God.


Friday, November 25, 2011

I cannot believe that it has been 12 weeks since I finished radiation!
Everything is going well. I can't remember now if I mentioned the webbing that has formed between my cords...if I didn't mention it, I have webbing that has formed between my cords. Doc will check it again when I see him on the 29th of this! That's next week!
I can tell that the tissue in my neck is stiffening. My voice is hit and miss, but I do have a voice. I have been leading Ladies Bible Study and singing in the choir. Did not imagine that I would be able to sing in the choir so soon. I have noticed that my range is improving and I wonder what it would sound like if we removed the webbing. I will talk to Doc about it when I see him. I read that the prescribed voice rest is 8 weeks for the surgery and involves putting something between the cords to keep the webbing from forming again after surgery. wowzers.

On to other things....

Just had my 39th birthday. Super excited about being 40 on the next b'day!

Had a great Thanksgiving. Am looking forward to this weekend. Going to see the fam. Hoping to take pictures of the cousins.If so, i may post them. Took pics of my babies last weekend. May post them too...maybe. We'll see.

Things have been pretty uneventful...and I am not complaining.